I thought vasectomies were supposed to keep me from getting my wife pregnant??
Apparently, it just changes the color of the baby. Go figure.
Apparently, it just changes the color of the baby. Go figure.
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What do you call a hookers fart?
A prosti-toot
A prosti-toot
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So I'm riding on the bus and this midget comes on and sits beside me.
After a couple of stops, the driver slams on the brakes and the midget slides off the seat, so I grab him by the arm and sit him down again.
Next stop, the same thing happens so again I grab him by the arm and sit him down.
By the fifth stop, the same thing happens and I'm irrirated so I grab him and say: "Hold on tight you dumb midget or you gonna keep sliding off the seat".
He turns around and says to me: "My stop was 5 stops ago, I've been trying to get off the bus you sunabitch".
After a couple of stops, the driver slams on the brakes and the midget slides off the seat, so I grab him by the arm and sit him down again.
Next stop, the same thing happens so again I grab him by the arm and sit him down.
By the fifth stop, the same thing happens and I'm irrirated so I grab him and say: "Hold on tight you dumb midget or you gonna keep sliding off the seat".
He turns around and says to me: "My stop was 5 stops ago, I've been trying to get off the bus you sunabitch".
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A guy applies for a job with the L.A.P.D. The Inspector says "These are the best qualifications I've ever seen, just one more test before you get the job. Take this gun, go out and shoot six black guys and a rabbit." Guy replies "Why the rabbit?" Inspector says "Fantastic attitude, you've got the job!"
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How many babies does it take to open a door?
It depends on how hard you can throw.
It depends on how hard you can throw.
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A radio show is hosting a game where listeners call in with a new word. Radio Host: Hey all you listeners out there, time for another round of "New Word". As a reminder of the rules, you have to give me a word that does not exist in the dictionary and you have to say a phrase that uses that word.
Caller: Hello?...
Radio Host: Hello caller, you are live on Radio Fantastic. May we have your word please?
Caller: Gaan.
Radio Host: Can you spell that for us?
Caller: That's G...A...A...N.
Radio Host: That's great caller. Just a minute while I search the dictionary.
** Few seconds later **
Radio Host: Well, I can't find it. Now, can you use it in a phrase?
Caller: Gaan fuck yourself! ... Ha Ha Haa ... click
Radio Host: I'm sorry listeners. This is a family show and some people just have no respect for that.
* takes other calls *
... after a few minutes ...
Radio Host: Hello caller, can we have your word please?
Caller: Zmee
Radio Host: and can you spell that please?
Caller: Z...M...E...E
Radio Host: Let me just flip through my dictionary right here...
Radio Host: Right, so far so good. Can you use it in a sentence?
Caller: Zmee again. Gaan fuck yourself!
Caller: Hello?...
Radio Host: Hello caller, you are live on Radio Fantastic. May we have your word please?
Caller: Gaan.
Radio Host: Can you spell that for us?
Caller: That's G...A...A...N.
Radio Host: That's great caller. Just a minute while I search the dictionary.
** Few seconds later **
Radio Host: Well, I can't find it. Now, can you use it in a phrase?
Caller: Gaan fuck yourself! ... Ha Ha Haa ... click
Radio Host: I'm sorry listeners. This is a family show and some people just have no respect for that.
* takes other calls *
... after a few minutes ...
Radio Host: Hello caller, can we have your word please?
Caller: Zmee
Radio Host: and can you spell that please?
Caller: Z...M...E...E
Radio Host: Let me just flip through my dictionary right here...
Radio Host: Right, so far so good. Can you use it in a sentence?
Caller: Zmee again. Gaan fuck yourself!
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How do you change the number of sides on a Pentagon?
Intersect it with a plane.
Intersect it with a plane.
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I think Jesus is black
Because he is our father and hasn't come back yet
Because he is our father and hasn't come back yet
Tazer
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