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  • ...........

    ...... so my best friend died.

    .... well... my former best friend.

    He was my best friend from elementary school to about half way through high school... but I considered him my best friend even up to a couple years ago, though I'd not seen him in a long time.

    He was my brother... his parents were like a second set of parents to me.

    I had life altering conversations with both his father and his mother.

    He was... he was always to be my best man.

    After his father died when we were 15, I watched him fall... fro ma good kid to the kind you warn your children about.

    He fell to drugs and alcohol... and he just kept falling.

    The last time I saw him was on his 18th birthday. We had had a falling out, so our words were harsh... but I gave him a gift.
    I gave him a bible with his father's obituary inside it as a bookmark with a highlighted passage about a father's pride.
    It made him cry, and he yelled at me for that... but I saw were he was going, and I wanted to help.

    He pushed me away then and there.

    So many times I wanted to get back in touch with him... even trying to find him at certain points in time (once actually locating his mother and finding out he was in Texas at the time)... but... he clearly never wanted to get back in touch with me.

    Years passed... I became his friend on MySpace way back when, but it wasn't anything meaningful, and he hardly ever logged on.

    Today I get a text from my brother in Florida: "Austin's dead?"

    Huh? He's what? I pick up my laptop and search his full name for an obituary... sure enough... he passed on May 8th.

    My brother had heard from a mutual friend on Facebook...... and I had to find out third hand.

    The obituary says nothing of how he died... but at the end it says that, instead of flowers, the family would like donations to be made to an Addictions Therapy home........ its obvious..... he killed himself, as accidentally as it may have been.

    I rack my head, going over the last few conversations we had... and that I told him he'd not make it to 30... and that I was right.
    I hold back tears thinking if there were something I may have been able to do had I remained in his life.
    I think of the afterlife, and if one even exists... and hope he has found peace.

    The funeral is on Thursday... I will be in attendance... I can't imagine what I'll say to his family.
    And now my tears are beginning to flow.

    My best friend is dead.....

    ... I think I'm in shock.

  • #2
    Im very sorry for your loss.
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    I'm a leaf on the wind...


    • #3
      My sympathies.
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      • #4
        My sincere apologies.


        • #5
          My condolences.

          " He who does not punish evil commands it to be done."-Leonardo da Vinci


          • #6
            I'm sorry for your loss.

            You'll be in my prayers.


            • #7
              My condolences
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              • #8
                I am sorry for that, I lost a friend because of drugs some years ago, too.


                • #9
                  I'm sorry for your loss~I'm praying for you


                  • #10


                    • #11
                      Sorry to hear that, dude. Try to remember the good things he brought to your life and don't dwell on the negative aspects.


                      • #12
                        My condolensces...


                        • #13
                          A friend of mine once committed suicide, and for years I kept thinking about anything I might have done or said to stop him from doing it. Finally I reailzed that maybe -- just maybe -- I could have done or said something if I had known he was going to do it. But I didn't, and I can't change it.

                          You can't change the past, but only learn from it. That's the lesson I've ever been able to draw from it. But it was a hard lesson.


                          • #14
                            Sorry, my condolences.


                            • #15
                              my condolences. it's tough to watch a friend lose their way, it's also damned near impossible to do anything about it while it's happening. Chances are they're too hurt or too high to think on their own true terms, let alone rationalize your ones. The best thing you can do is remember him for the friend he was.
                              "Don't disturb my circles."