Do women love men who are jerks?

[Jay Burg American Bad Ass Find all posts View Profile Close Jay Burg]

Nice guys finish last.

Don't be that guy. Be a jerk. Get some pu-tang pie. Finish first.

[Mister Ed Horse of a Different Color Find all posts View Profile Close Mister Ed]

We need a female to voice an opinion.

I too would welcome it, though I'm not sure it will help. In my past experience with people asserting that most women like jerks, any women that dissented were dismissed with either "You're atypical" or else, "Of course you'd SAY that" depending on how much the people involved liked that particular woman.

And, to be fair, if a woman came in here and said, "Yeah, we DO prefer jerks" I'D be the one saying that I thought they were atypical. So I can't really fault them on those grounds without being hypocritical, I suppose.

[Jay Burg American Bad Ass Find all posts View Profile Close Jay Burg]

Women won't admit to this truth.

[Mister Ed Horse of a Different Color Find all posts View Profile Close Mister Ed]

But it does not. That is a conclusion.

No, that's you rejecting the two logical outcomes without supplying an alternative. It isn't a conclusion, since it doesn't choose one or the other.

You are kinda splitting hairs. How about we focous less on your theroy,I would be intrested in hearing about what expieriences have made you champion the other side of the the discussion.

I don't think I'm splitting hairs. I think I'm pointing out a possible problem with your theory that most women prefer jerks. I'm saying that, unless you agree to one of those two possibilities, then your theory does not fit observed reality. It might fit the small corner of reality you have direct experience with, I can't say. But there are all kinds of women out there choosing to become closely linked in some way with all kinds of guys. You can't get away from the fact that, if what you say is true, either a heck of a lot of those guys (most, apparently) are jerks, or a heck of a lot of those women are choosing to pair up with guys they don't like.

Maybe one of those things is true. I don't think it is, based solely on my own experiences and personal knowledge, but I could well be wrong. But if your assertion is correct, it sure seem logical that ONE of them HAS to be true.

As to why I don't buy into the notion that most women prefer jerks? My personal experiences give no indication of such a preference. In fact, in the cases I've known where women were dating a guy who seemed to be a jerk, what they had to say about it suggested that they liked the guy for some OTHER reason, and wished he WASN'T a jerk. I've seen no indication among women I've known personally that they are ever attracted to somebody BECAUSE they are a jerk. And since I would describe a jerk as unpleasant, and preferring something because it is unpleasant seems kind of mental, and in my experience women are not, as a class, any more mental than guys, I don't have a hard time believing that they don't prefer stuff because it is unpleasant...

[Sylent_Asassin Black Lantern Find all posts View Profile Close Sylent_Asassin]

Nice guys finish last.

Don't be that guy. Be a jerk. Get some pu-tang pie. Finish first.

LOL. Your posts always make me chuckle. "Winners go home and f__k the prom Queen."

Not all nice guys finish last. Nice guys with a backbone get their fair share of pie. It's the push-over's that finish last. A woman wants someone that's confident, assertive and takes control, not someone that will bend and break. It's possible to be the former.

[Mister Ed Horse of a Different Color Find all posts View Profile Close Mister Ed]

LOL. Your posts always make me chuckle. "Winners go home and f__k the prom Queen."

Not all nice guys finish last. Nice guys with a backbone get their fair share of pie. It's the push-over's that finish last. A woman wants someone that's confident, assertive and takes control, not someone that will bend and break. It's possible to be the former.

I think Sylent has really hit on something. I'd love to hear what a female thought of this idea, but I can easily believe that the real distinctive is one of confidence vs. hesitance. A guy who isn't a jerk but can barely manage to talk to a girl isn't going to get anywhere in most cases, wheras a guy who is confident might be able to make women look past some of their jerkish tendencies. I would think, though, that given a choice between a confident nice guy and a confident jerk, most women would prefer the less jerky option. The jerks will probably win out when the competition is a nice wallflower.

[Rotten2thecorps Alpha-Lantern Find all posts View Profile Close Rotten2thecorps]

No, that's you rejecting the two logical outcomes without supplying an alternative. It isn't a conclusion, since it doesn't choose one or the other.



I don't think I'm splitting hairs. I think I'm pointing out a possible problem with your theory that most women prefer jerks. I'm saying that, unless you agree to one of those two possibilities, then your theory does not fit observed reality. It might fit the small corner of reality you have direct experience with, I can't say. But there are all kinds of women out there choosing to become closely linked in some way with all kinds of guys. You can't get away from the fact that, if what you say is true, either a heck of a lot of those guys (most, apparently) are jerks, or a heck of a lot of those women are choosing to pair up with guys they don't like.

Maybe one of those things is true. I don't think it is, based solely on my own experiences and personal knowledge, but I could well be wrong. But if your assertion is correct, it sure seem logical that ONE of them HAS to be true.

As to why I don't buy into the notion that most women prefer jerks? My personal experiences give no indication of such a preference. In fact, in the cases I've known where women were dating a guy who seemed to be a jerk, what they had to say about it suggested that they liked the guy for some OTHER reason, and wished he WASN'T a jerk. I've seen no indication among women I've known personally that they are ever attracted to somebody BECAUSE they are a jerk. And since I would describe a jerk as unpleasant, and preferring something because it is unpleasant seems kind of mental, and in my experience women are not, as a class, any more mental than guys, I don't have a hard time believing that they don't prefer stuff because it is unpleasant...

I am not going to answer this because already covered it. You may not have liked the answer and are welcome to spin it how you wish. But I am not going to debate a conclusion you've drawn,that is a jump away from the topic at hand. Do Women prefer men who are jerks. I say yes. I agree to your earlier that in some cases it is men just justfying why they are not have some one. However again that is a jump away from the heart of the post as well. How ever I am intrested in some counter expirences.

I love hearing about peoples stories,and find it reveals much more then the common Post counter post metality of messages boards.

[Rotten2thecorps Alpha-Lantern Find all posts View Profile Close Rotten2thecorps]

I often wonder if it is a phsycal thing? I often find I have little in common with women who I find attractive. Yet the ones I do not find actractive are usually the more intresting. But I am shallow so.... there is that.

[Jay Burg American Bad Ass Find all posts View Profile Close Jay Burg]

LOL. Your posts always make me chuckle. "Winners go home and f__k the prom Queen."

Exactly.

And the losers end up marrying her sloppy seconds.

[Mister Ed Horse of a Different Color Find all posts View Profile Close Mister Ed]

I think it can muddy the waters somewhat, too, that just because somebody is attracted to somebody who is a jerk does not necessarily mean that they are attracted to jerks.

It could just mean they are attracted to some other aspect enough that they overlook a certain amount of jerkiness.

To me, if one says that women prefer jerks, that implies that is it the fact that they are a jerk that they prefer, and I have a hard time buying that that is anything like a majority preference among women. To say that, if you take two guys that are otherwise identical in looks, interests, financials, confidence, etc., except one is a jerk, and the other isn't, MOST women will choose the one that is a jerk...yeah, I'm not seeing it.

Some women? Sure. There are all kinds of people in this world. But most? No, I just can't buy that, and haven't seen anything to suggest it.

[Jeff Guardian of the Universe Find all posts View Profile Close Jeff]

If the guy is a jerk, and there is a woman who lusts after him, does that not also imply she is a jerk as well? Or, in the very least, a little stupid?

[Rotten2thecorps Alpha-Lantern Find all posts View Profile Close Rotten2thecorps]

Here is some dating advice from a Pimp named slick Back


WARRINING OFFENSIVE.

Funny but offensive.

+ YouTube Video

[Mister Ed Horse of a Different Color Find all posts View Profile Close Mister Ed]

If the guy is a jerk, and there is a woman who lusts after him, does that not also imply she is a jerk as well? Or, in the very least, a little stupid?

That's one conclusion (well, two I suppose, technically), and it becomes very problematic if one believes both that AND that most women prefer jerks, because then that would mean that most women are jerks or stupid.

Presumably those here that are saying most women do prefer jerks would reject those options as the only reasons why.

[Orion Pax Iolande's Bodyguard Find all posts View Profile Close Orion Pax]

There´s a difference between a "nice guy" (spineless doormat who thinks that by being nice and do things for girls entitles him to sex/affection) and a nice guys who´s pleasant to be around.

[Darth_Primus Guardian of the Universe Find all posts View Profile Close Darth_Primus]