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  • Rough weekend

    This Saturday my wife and I took our dog Sarah to the vet to be put to sleep.

    She was 15 and a half years old, and had been going downhill for some time, but such a decision is never easy, and I've been a bit of a wreck.

    For a while now she has been eating poorly, becoming progressively more reluctant to attempt the stairs to go out and in due to her arthritis, lying around most of the day, and having accidents, mostly at night. But I've been convincing myself that she didn't seem to be in real pain, and that she was still enjoying life enough to keep going, since she never actually whimpered or yelped or anything, and she still was always excited to go for "walkies", jumping up when she saw the leash (or what passes for jumping up when you are a 15 and a half year old, arthritic Labrador mix). And though she wasn't eating very well, and was losing quite a bit of weight, she was still very interested in table scraps (hanging around the table at dinner, usually) and always up for chowing on doggie treats.

    Friday evening, though, I came home to my wife's report that Sarah had eaten pretty much nothing that day, despite her adding cheese and other scraps to her food, and that for several hours she hadn't been able to get her out of bed to go outside. I tried, too, tempting her with treats, which she ignored, mentioning "walkies", which got no reaction, then trying to physically lift her on to her feet, which caused to he make unhappy noises, partway between a whimper and a growl.

    I gave up and started to break down, and so did my wife, and we stood there hugging and crying, and THAT got Sarah out of bed to come over and see what was going on. Which made me laugh, and cry more at the same time. I took her out for a walk, and I decided to see how she was in the morning. I also got her to eat the food in her bowl by mixing some ham lunchmeat into it.

  • #2
    The next morning, I went down to take her out to potty. She wouldn't move. I got the leash and held it up, telling her "Sarah, walkies!". She lifted her head to look, then laid back down. I put the leash on her, she ignored it, I gave it a little tug, no reaction. Basically this ended with a grown man blubbering on the floor, begging his dog to get up, "Sarah, walkies! C'mon, you like walkies, get up, we'll go for walkies, please?" I'm tearing up right now just thinking about it.

    I got a slice of ham from the fridge and tried to get her to get up by holding that just out of reach. It definitely got her attention, but it was a long while before she decided it was worth the effort. I took her out for a short and tearful walk, then told my wife that I'd decided that the vet appointment we had that afternoon for her rabies shot should probably be put to a different use.

    But the appointment wasn't until 4:30, and we couldn't get it moved up, and my youngest had a birthday party to attend, and my oldest had robotics to go to, so life went on for the day. We arranged a sitter to stay with the kids. I told my two older kids while the youngest was at the party, and my wife told him on the way home from the party.

    My oldest, predictably, wasn't too effected. His Aspergers kind of mutes his sympathy, and he never got too attached to Sarah, even though she's been around his whole life.

    My 8-year-old was another story. I told him that because Sarah is doing so poorly and isn't enjoying life, that we were going to be taking her to the vet today, and she was going to be going to "Doggie Island", and sort of comforting fiction that we had established when talking about our previous dogs (who were gone before he was born). He wasn't having any of that. His response was, "They're going to kill her?!", then he went to his room and cried a bit into his blankets, while I tried to explain (myself in tears as well), why this was for the best. He decided he wanted to play a game with me to try to cheer up, so we played a very silly game (called In a Pickle), and he recovered, but he also wanted to go with me every time we took Sarah out for "walkies" that day, and he would walk alongside her and give her occasional pats. The last time before the appointment, he wanted to be the one holding the leash. I felt like kind of an awful father for it, but in a way I was glad that at least one of our kids was noticeably sad about the situation the way my wife and I were.

    The time arrived, the babysitter showed up, and I asked the kids (though I could barely get it out), if they wanted to say goodbye. My oldest said no, he was good. My youngest was still playing a videogame (my wife said he wasn't too sad when she told him), but my middle child came running, also in tears, and said his goodbyes.

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    • #3
      I had to lift her into the car, but that's been true for a while. We brought her bed. I drove, holding together pretty well on the way. The hell of it was, after last night and the initial difficulties that morning, she had had a pretty decent day. I kept trying to convince myself that it was really time for this, that I WASN'T just doing this for our convenience, which I did NOT want to do. And I did, I still believe that was the case, but it was so hard to watch her obediently walking in to the vet with us. I would have felt better if I had HAD to carry her in, I guess.

      And part of her good day (which really, why wouldn't I WANT her last day to be as good as it could be, right?) was probably all the attention she got, all the "walkies", the treats (I went out and BOUGHT her one of those big muffins, because she used to, when she was younger, steal them off the table if we left them unattended. I cut it into pieces and everybody, even my teenager, took the opportunity to give her some, until the whole thing was gone. She LOVED that.)

      The vet kept us waiting a long time, because it was really busy. I just kept petting her while she looked at us. She was so good for the techs who put in the little tube for the drugs to be delivered through. She was always so good at the vet, patient with whatever they did. The vet came in, the drugs were administered, and I was down on the floor with her hugging her and petting her and saying goodbye as her eyes closed for the last time. I kept going back to give her one last stroke, and make sure her eyes were closed, even as we were going out of the room.

      As expected, I was a wreck, and my wife, who is stronger than I, had to drive home.

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      • #4
        It has been a hard few days. The oddest things will set me off. I started to tear up this morning taking out the GARBAGE, because as I opened the gate to get the cans, I realized that it no longer mattered if I left the gate open.

        When I came inside, I saw my sons black sneakers on the floor peeking around the edge of the door to the kitchen, and immediately assumed that was Sarah, lying in the hallway in the way as always (we always figured she must had felt like being stumbled over was an acceptable form of affection, because she seemed to take care to lie down in the most in-the-way spot possible).

        And the worst is that, for YEARS, I have developed a "silly Daddy" habit of asking the kids questions, to which the answer is ALWAYS "Sarah", no matter how ridiculous the question. Sunday morning, one of the kids says "I like Pop Tarts." and I instinctively pipe up with, "You know who else likes Pop Tarts?" then realize what I did, and answer, somewhat lamely, "uh..me." but everybody knew what the answer REALLY was. I must have repeated this same situation at least half a dozen times since then, sometimes catching myself early enough to cover it up, but sometimes not. Everybody else seems to have already moved on, though my wife is, understandably, very sympathetic when I still get sad.

        And now I'm here at work with teary eyes just from typing this all up, but I wanted to share. And I think it has helped, so thanks for listening.

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        • #5
          Yo.

          .......

          sorry ya had to go thru that man.




          Tazer


          Originally posted by Andrew NDB
          Geoff Johns should have a 10 mile restraining order from comic books, let alone films.

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          • #6
            Sorry for your loss, Ed. It's difficult owning pets, because inevitably, the end will come. Even worse, when they age and become a shell of themselves. I've been there with a German Shepherd and two Cockateils.

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            • #7
              Wow, sorry. That IS a bad weekend.

              Bits of it sounds familiar with having put down previous pets (actually it seems a long time since a pet died completely of natural causes). There's always that radical change of behavior that makes your heart stop and I've always had those moments of questioning the choice.

              Seriously consider getting another dog before too long. When one of my favorite cats died, the family all thought "maybe we won't even have another," but in less than a month we adopted two and that helped so, so much.

              In any event, hope the week gets better.

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              • #8
                Thanks guys.

                Originally posted by Space Cop View Post
                Seriously consider getting another dog before too long. When one of my favorite cats died, the family all thought "maybe we won't even have another," but in less than a month we adopted two and that helped so, so much.
                We DO plan on getting another dog, but it will have to wait until summer. We really cannot take the time necessary to train a new puppy until then, when the kids are off school and my wife is on break from daycare.

                Hopefully that will be soon enough.

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                • #9
                  Man, I just want to reach through the screen and give you the biggest hug right now. I so want to say something that will make you feel better and take away the pain, but I'm empty, other than the obligatory "time will heal you" (which is true) and at least she is not in pain anymore (which is also true). Please know, Ed, that you have my deepest sympathies and empathy. I have been where you are, and it's no easy road, but know you have friends to walk with down that road.

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                  • #10
                    My middle child has a birthday tomorrow, so that should cheer things up I'd think. I've been joking with him for a while that his presents were going to be some "sticks from the yard", so tonight I plan to take his wrapped presents, bundle them with some sticks, and re-wrap them in a haphazard way so the sticks are obvious.

                    I'm pretty sure he'll be amused, especially when he opens them and finds the real presents inside.

                    He told us yesterday that the next stuffed dog he gets, he wants to name it "Sarah". Now I'm trying to decide if I should run out and try to get a stuffed Black Lab to wrap for his birthday, or if that would be too soon, and a potential birthday downer...

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                    • #11
                      What happens when they are not amused:

                      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=initks0NdRM

                      A Train posted this on fb a while ago, and I don't think I will forget this video as long as I live.
                      Not that your child is as undisciplined as the kid in the video, but you might want to assure him he's getting real gifts too. Of course, you know your son better than anyone, I have no kids other than the ones on four paws.

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                      • #12
                        So sad. My dog was recently diagnosed with arthritis. She'll be 12 in May. She has a slight limp in her walk every now and then but she still sprints around the house whenever the doorbell rings or its time for a walk or if I bring someone new inside. She'll still jump on the door to let me know she's done being outside. I can't imagine that I'll take her last days any better than you did. Stay strong Ed.

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                        • #13
                          Mr Ed, you have my condolences.
                          Sorry for your loss.
                          You just witnessed the strength of geek knowledge. N.W.A., Nerd With Attitude. Straight out of Vulcan!

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                          • #14
                            I'm sorry to hear that. If it helps your dog had a good long run an a family who was good to her. An you di the right thing not making her suffer just so you didn't have to let her go.

                            We're getting to the same point with one of our two dogs, who is a golden retriever turning 12. He has arthritis and bad hips and is getting to the point where some days he can barely make it up the steps to go outside. We may have another year or so, but that day is coming so I completely sympathize with you Ed.

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                            • #15
                              remember one thing ed. you did the dog a favor because it would have been worse to have the thing suffer believe me as an nimal lover i know because my uncle didnt use this option for his dog.. i kind of wish we humans had this option if god forbid if we had a non curable medical issue like stage 4 cancer and nothing else can be done .
                              .................................................. ..........................

                              Cnn = constant nasuating nonsense

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