Comic Book Bullshit

[Hypo Lil' Leaguer Find all posts View Profile Close Hypo]

This thread is partially inspired by this post:

I want to know what it means for a Corps to "Have a guardian" too while we're at it.

I swear to God the new GL Universe is like listening to a bunch of homeopathy supporters.

Tons and tons of phrases get tossed around as if they're supposed to mean something but nothing ever makes any actual sense.

Creators love to use nonsensical hype or just come with concepts that look cool at first but when you stop and think about it make no goddamn fucking sense, similar examples:

1) Why do all the different Corps exist? I'm not talking about the existence of different Lanterns but their Corps specifically, take the Red Lanterns for example, why the fuck do they operate as a unit? What's their mission statement? Doesn't make no fucking sense...
2) Kyle being the torchbearer for all the different Corps in the upcoming New Guardians series? That literally makes no sense to me.
3) And most recently from todays announcement of Marvel's new Defenders series:

"What Matt has built here is a book about the nature of heroism," Wacker said, saying the Defenders are tasked at taking on all the big threats from mystical threats to medical ones. "There's something about these characters, whether they're confronted by fury or evil, continue to put one foot in front of the other...and if you can put one foot in front of the other, you can live forever."

Seriously, what the fuck does this even mean?

So when you see nonsensical bullshit like this don't buy into the hype go ahead and post it here, and who knows maybe if we're lucky someone much smarter than us will come and explain it all to us.

[Michael Heide Heide Finition Find all posts View Profile Close Michael Heide]

That Defenders quote is about the tenacity of these characters. Whatever problems they might face, they never give up. They never back down. They continue to (bad metaphor for keeping on fighting), and if you (keep on fighting), you can live forever. Provided that you are a comic book character.

[Marvelous Iggy God Of Turtles Find all posts View Profile Close Marvelous Iggy]

Does the theory "Batman can beat everybody" count as bullshit?

[Dr. Naysay Guardian of the Universe Find all posts View Profile Close Dr. Naysay]

Does the theory "Batman can beat everybody" count as bullshit?

Abso-bat-lutely.

[Prime Attention Whore Find all posts View Profile Close Prime]

1) Why do all the different Corps exist? I'm not talking about the existence of different Lanterns but their Corps specifically, take the Red Lanterns for example, why the fuck do they operate as a unit? What's their mission statement? Doesn't make no fucking sense...

Well originally, they were all about killing Sinestro and his corps...but now...they're just kind of...let's be bad asses...ANGRY bad asses...so yeah, it no longer makes any sense...

[Dr. Naysay Guardian of the Universe Find all posts View Profile Close Dr. Naysay]

Well originally, they were all about killing Sinestro and his corps...but now...they're just kind of...let's be bad asses...ANGRY bad asses...so yeah, it no longer makes any sense...

Let's be honest... it BARELY made sense to begin with.

[Keyser Soze Alpha-Lantern Find all posts View Profile Close Keyser Soze]

Does the theory "Batman can beat everybody" count as bullshit?

No. Batman can beat EVERYBODY. And if there's any comic character who could figure a way to get out of the comics and into the real world to beat up someone for suggesting that's bullshit... it's Batman.

[Bolerathon Avant Guardian Find all posts View Profile Close Bolerathon]

Does the theory "Batman can beat everybody" count as bullshit?

Seconded

I call bullshit on only women being able to use love and be star sapphires. Do men just not love? Why is it when a woman feels something that thing is love but when a man feels it, it's either compassion or greed?

Also why is the entity for the corps of swimsuit clad space babes require them to ride around on it when it looks like a giant, glowing, purple space cock? Are they aware that they are around for t&a?

[Vaegrin Corpse Trainee Find all posts View Profile Close Vaegrin]

Does the theory "Batman can beat everybody" count as bullshit?

YES.

[Bolerathon Avant Guardian Find all posts View Profile Close Bolerathon]

Also add Wolverine surviving being nuked and walking around as a skeleton.

[JohnnyV Pictionary Master Find all posts View Profile Close JohnnyV]

Can't believe people have missed the ultimate bullshit in comics (though it's being fixed soon!!)

How in the hell, in a world where cyborgs, super beings, toxic mutations, resurrections, and god knows what else, is Barbara Gordon in a motherfucking wheelchair?

It's because all these fucking fanboys out there who think it's "better" for her to be rolling around, instead of walking around. Such bullshit.

[Michael Heide Heide Finition Find all posts View Profile Close Michael Heide]

That's because as Batgirl, she's redundant. As Oracle, she wasn't.

[Hypo Lil' Leaguer Find all posts View Profile Close Hypo]

Can't believe people have missed the ultimate bullshit in comics (though it's being fixed soon!!)

How in the hell, in a world where cyborgs, super beings, toxic mutations, resurrections, and god knows what else, is Barbara Gordon in a motherfucking wheelchair?

It's because all these fucking fanboys out there who think it's "better" for her to be rolling around, instead of walking around. Such bullshit.

I'll bet it was just awkward when Dick brought up Damian getting a new spine. In all serious though do you actually think Oracle wasn't a great character?

[myuserid Lantern Hex Find all posts View Profile Close myuserid]

Wait a minute, anybody that can walk will live forever?

Sweet.

[JohnnyV Pictionary Master Find all posts View Profile Close JohnnyV]

I'll bet it was just awkward when Dick brought up Damian getting a new spine. In all serious though do you actually think Oracle wasn't a great character?

She was fucking unnecessary. Much rather have her back as Batgirl, than some invalid sitting behind a computer desk. All the people who think Oracle was more interesting are just trying to out think themselves.