Last film you saw, vol. 6

[Space Cop The Dandy Find all posts View Profile Close Space Cop]

Fight Club (1999)

"It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car."

[Space Cop The Dandy Find all posts View Profile Close Space Cop]

The Dirty Dozen (1967)

"Free the French, shoot the Germans."

So, for some reason I had seen large chunks of this but never sat through it from beginning to end. It was definitely fun, but not my favorite WWII flick.

[Fearless Agent Orange Find all posts View Profile Close Fearless]

A very good outing, if not Marvel's best. Not better than, but definitely up there with, the Avengers or even the original Iron Man. I was thoroughly impressed. They handled the Falcon superbly, the same with Winter Soldier. I'm eager to see where they take the characters from here, and even more eager to find out what the hell happened with Hawkeye. Time will tell, I suppose.

Also, those post-credits scene(s)... very, very promising.

[Space Cop The Dandy Find all posts View Profile Close Space Cop]

Terror of Mechagodzilla (1975)

"Even though you are a cyborg, I still love you."

MST3K: Gamera

"Get a dog, kid!"

[Agent Purple The Illustrated Man Find all posts View Profile Close Agent Purple]

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters (2013)

Dionysus: "No! It's a terrible idea!"
[next scene]
Dionysus: "I have had a brilliant idea!"

Yes, they managed to put out a sequel to Lightning Thief, which was handled so atrociously I'm amazed Sea was even greenlit. Still, upon watching, it's a vast improvement. Here's a bit of why:

1) Thalia.
2) Clarisse and Annabeth are two different people.
3) Annabeth is not a stupid kid. Sometimes.
4) Dionysus is hilarious.
5) Hippocampus.
6) The Prophecy.
7) Water under Percy's control does not inexplicably heal non-Poseidon children.
8) Luke is a harsh, harsh boy.
9) Ron Perlman is the voice of Polyphemus.
10) The Oracle.


Now here's why it fails:

1) Luke's cruise ship is now a much-small yacht.
2) The Manticore, a cheap stand-in for Dr. Thorn.
3) Annabeth is still dumb too often.
4) Silena, Chris, and Ethan are name-dropped or fully-featured and handled horribly. Silena is a hero, Chris is Clarisse's fucking love interest, and Ethan is a major enemy character. Actually, you only know of Ethan if you read the books and then watched this film and thought, "I wonder if that Asian boy there is supposed to be Ethan?" because they never name him or credit him properly (you have to look it up online).
5) The Mist is handled like a fucking beauty product. Literally, it's a spray bottle. Mortals can't see magic shit, you fucking Hollywood idiots.
6) Riptide is handled like something Hephaestus would build, a bit too mechanized.
7) Circe is wholly absent despite her being placed on Polyphemus's island.
8) Circe is an amusement park owner. I am not shitting you.
9) Dionysus trying to drink wine which turns into water when it should just be Diet Coke since he knows he can't break Zeus's ban.
10) Chiron is still brown-furred when he should have a white pelt.
11) The half-bear twins Luke uses as personal guards are absent, replaced by a mixture of the Manticore (above) and some pro-wrestler version of Lurch from The Adams Family.
12) Luke's signature sword, Backbiter, is utterly absent.
13) Luke water-walks/rides on Percy's watercrest despite not being a son of Poseidon.
14) Kronos is a generic big enemy. His resurrection is handled poorly and completely different than the books do it. It's a hair's-breath less shitty than Wrath of the Titans' handling.
15) The Oracle's flashback into the Titans' defeat is inaccurate. Kronos ate all his Olympian children, with only Zeus escaping due to Rhea switching him with a boulder in swaddling clothes.
16) The Oracle's prophecy is not the one she should have told Percy. Granted, things are changed for story reasons since they removed Tantalus entirely (they do it to simplify Luke's poisoning of Thalia's tree), but it's still an error.
17) Grover is still generically black. He's a damn stereotype, not a person, so far as the suits in Hollywood are concerned.
18) The film tries to end itself with a big dumb fight which makes it look like the series is concluded with the second film, but then keeps going to try and milk the other books into adaptations.
19) The Golden Fleece is not especially good-looking. It's nice, granted, but I prefer Jason and The Argonauts' version (off the top of my head, I cannot recall how the book described it, but I wouldn't be surprised if it matched Argonauts' version).
20) The kids at camp are dressed like generic teens. Nobody wears a camp shirt, not even Percy. How fucking hard is it for the costume department to get orange T-shirts and put basic letters on them?
21) The Prophecy is handled poorly.
22) Hermes could have been done a little better. It's not a bad job, actually better than I thought they'd do him, but they get Nathan Fillion and he makes me think of Alec Baldwin a la Thirty Rock more than a God of Messengers, Thieves, and the Road. At least they do a good job on his caduceus.

So if you see this, expect these problems (and a few more I left out so as not to tire your eyes too much). Not a terrible film as its predecessor is, but only an okay film at best.

[robojac Corps Honor Guard Find all posts View Profile Close robojac]

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)



A worthy sequel and entry in the MCU that doesn't disappoint. I'd see this again if movie tickets didn't cost 10 bucks.

[Mister.Weirdo Guardian of the Universe Find all posts View Profile Close Mister.Weirdo]

Damn what a film that was. Action, Adventure, Comedy, Suspense. This movie had it all. The action was excellent, I laughed when I was supposed to, I got very emotional at the climax. I thought that Evans, Jackson, Johansson, Mackie, Redford and Shaw were all very good in their respected parts.

This is how you make a superhero movie.

[Space Cop The Dandy Find all posts View Profile Close Space Cop]

The Loves of Hercules [aka Hercules vs. the Hydra] (1960)

"We'll never know peace again. Blood will demand blood until the end of the world."

A cheap but fun Italian sword and sandal flick. One of the more "charming" bits features a fearsome "bull" that charges the queen (Jayne Mansfield), but which is clearly a steer too small to even sit on and when they intercut to shots of it, the poor thing looks confused and harmless. And check out the titular (American version) Hyrda:

[Mister.Weirdo Guardian of the Universe Find all posts View Profile Close Mister.Weirdo]

Wow! Incredible. A spiritual story that really got to me.

Can't believe, its taken me this long to see the film.

[Space Cop The Dandy Find all posts View Profile Close Space Cop]

Goldfinger (1964)

"I have a slight inferiority complex."

X-Men (2000)

"Wolverine: You actually go outside in these things?
Cyclops: Well, what would you prefer? Yellow spandex?"

[Booster Beetle Will break before he bends Find all posts View Profile Close Booster Beetle]

Who the hell is Julius Ceasar? You know I don’t follow the NBA!

When you’ve got an ass like the North Star, wise men are going to follow it.

Watched the Extended R-rated version, it was highlarious and they added a new song to the If I Was Gay For A Day scene and it was awesome

[Darth_Primus Guardian of the Universe Find all posts View Profile Close Darth_Primus]

Captain America... more like CAPTAIN BAD ASS!!!

The one real complaint I had of the first Captain America film, was answered in the sequel, and that's seeing some super soldier shit; there's an ass load of it. This is one of those rare sequels that is better than the original.

The pretty spoiler free video below expresses my opinions on the movie.
Captain America: The Winter Soldier - Movie Review

+ YouTube Video

5/5

[Space Cop The Dandy Find all posts View Profile Close Space Cop]

X2 (2003)

"Never trust a beautiful woman, especially one who's interested in you."

This is still a top contender on my list of best comic book movies ever even though some of the "subtext" is heavy handed ("have you tried not being a mutant?"). If nothing else Nightcrawler's attack on the White House and Magneto's escape would probably both make my top 10 favorite super hero scenes.

By the way, does anyone know what band (or whatever) is on Pyro's shirt? I found a reference to some X2 fanfic that mentions a NiN shirt but I know nothing about the band to know if that's what's pictured:



<It's weird, the "prop" outfit is listed in two places for sale but neither identifies what's actually in the picture.>

[W.West Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close W.West]

It kinda looks like Green Day...but then again, I don't know shit about bands. lol

[Space Cop The Dandy Find all posts View Profile Close Space Cop]

Miami Connection (1987)

"They will not escape the Miami ninja!"



"Please be alive."

Oh my goodness. How to even describe this. I'll try. The movie follows a mixed-race group of central Florida college students who are a Tae-Kwon-Do loving rock band (they sing hard-hitting songs about being friends forever and resisting evil). They come up across the evil cocaine-dealing ninja bikers and it gets fun.



How to evaluate? If the phrase "so bad it's good" is one you use, you'll love this. If not, you won't. The people who think Twilight features the worst acting ever really need to see movies like these. I swear soap operas would reject the entire cast.


For those of you who do Instant Netflix, this is expiring at the end of the week.