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Last film you saw, vol. 6

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  • The Conjuring (2013)

    "The devil exists. God exists. And for us, as people, our very destiny hinges on which we decide to follow."
    Space Cop
    The Dandy
    Last edited by Space Cop; 06-24-2016, 05:17 PM.


    • Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack (2001)

      "Yes, good luck, everyone! You are gonna die!"

      Very odd Toho G movie. If I didn't know any better, I would say this qualifies as an alternate universe Godzilla, because he doesn't play the good guy monster, and further more, King Gidorah is the hero. Yes, you read that right.

      Now, I probably have only seen 35-40% of the G movies out there, which I own on disc, so I'm a tad better than a strictly casual G fan, but nowhere near the ranks of Space Cop (who coincidentally told me of this movie last night). There was a scene where a bunch of drunk Asian teenagers went on a stealing spree, then decided to party on a beach while holding Doge in a small wooden box because they were annoyed by him. Enter larvae-stage Mothra and Jeff is happy again (seriously, we need to get Jason a passport so he can start doing his Puritanical righteousness thing overseas) because Doge survived on a tv report about the incident.

      Score 1 for Latveria.

      There was some serious mystical stuff going on as well, which I don't normally associate with the G genre. Fairy dust, Kaiju spirits, and ghastly old men who needed a shave occupied a lot of the story line, along with the typical soldier boys and standout citizen who saves Japan all the time. The mystical stuff was mostly associated with Gidorah and Mothra (where were those two little fairy girls?) and ancient prophecies regarding all the big players.

      Specifically regarding G Man, I don't understand why his eyes were completely white and pupil-less, but I rather liked his facial features, especially the two upper fangs jutting out the sides of the forward roof of the mouth. And then you have all that clowning around with men in rubber suits, so now you know you are back in Toho territory.


      • Thale (2012)

        "Care to join me in scraping up some old lady tomorrow?"

        MST3K:The Thing that Couldn't Die (1958/1997)

        "Brought to you by the Breast Council.
        -Buy breasts where you work or bank!"

        Godzilla (1954)

        "But if we continue conducting nuclear tests, it's possible that another Godzilla might appear somewhere in the world again."

        Banshee Chapter (2013)

        "Well, speaking of ingesting experimental chemicals, what are you doing this weekend?"

        A Chernobyl Diaries-like twist on the infamous LSD (and other) experiments the government ran. A young writer decides to investigate the disappearance of her grad-school filmmaker friend who took a government-created drug and vanished. Not bad for a low-budget, psychological mystery, but not groundbreaking either. Most of the scares are the predictable black-eyed-corpse-creatures-appear-from-nowhere type. The best parts are when she enlists the the aid of Buffalo Bill himself (Ted Levine), who plays an obvious Hunter S. Thompson stand-in.

        Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2008)

        "You're a cats lover?
        -If I could afford it, I'd have ton of them."

        I admit, in my recent mood for so-bad-they're-good movies, I subjected myself to this. Unlike some of the other choices, this doesn't even feel like a real film. It feels like something some friends would do as a goof or maybe a High School video project (if the cast were younger)--the effects would be rejected for local commercials. But Severin video went ahead and treated software designer Jame Nguyen like a real filmmaker and distributed this crap.

        Star Trek (2009)

        "I like this ship! You know, it's exciting!"

        Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)

        "Boy, I got vision, and the rest of the world wears bifocals."

        Godzilla against Mechagodzilla (2002)

        "Relax: we're with the government."
        Space Cop
        The Dandy
        Last edited by Space Cop; 06-29-2016, 02:19 AM.


        • RiffTrax: Planet of Dinosaurs (1978)

          "Somewhere, a ColecoVision console is missing its music track."

          I used to have this as a kid, ages ago on VHS. Loved the cover, thought the film was amazing (kids love dinosaurs), watched it a thousand and one times. The intro with its starry background and dinosaur stills and creepy synthesizer tones is something I'm to this day a bit fond of.

          Seeing a copy on the shelf in a recent James Rolfe video, I hunted up a cheap copy on eBay and found that RiffTrax had done their usual number on my childhood classic. Their jokes are good, and pretty on point (my dad thought the film was awful but laughed quite a bit at the commentary, as did I).

          I don't pretend that the film is trashy as hell (bunch of generic spacefarers are forced to abandon ship when something goes wrong, land on an Earth-like world, proceed to barely survive), but the stop-motion dinosaurs are not so terrible. They do look a little nice, and given that this is the '70s, they do better than might be expected of a low-budget picture (on par with the older stuff from the '40s and up).

          It's kind of a shame that this is difficult to get in the 30th Anniversary package, which goes for a high price, and I don't see them releasing it on Blu-ray anytime soon, even coupled with another flick, but the RiffTrax edition has both the standard film and the commentary version.

          So grab a beer and watch people try to survive the prehistoric in outfits that do, in fact, resemble McDonald's uniforms for the far-future.
          Villain Draft 3: Fourth Place Winner

          September 11, 2001; January 6, 2021; February 13, 2021


          • The Conjuring 2 (2016)

            "This is my house!"

            Ninja Death 1 (1987)

            "Don't touch my stick!"

            Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)

            "Heading, sir?
            -Out there... thataway."

            Gamera vs. Barugon [aka War of the Monsters] (1966)

            "He'll use his own rainbow against himself."

            Constantine (2005)

            "I don't believe in the devil.
            -You should. He believes in you.

            Rubber (2010)

            "Ladies, gentlemen: the film you are about to see today is an homage to the 'no reason'; that most powerful element of style."
            Space Cop
            The Dandy
            Last edited by Space Cop; 06-29-2016, 01:44 PM.


            • Superman Returns (2006)


              John Carter (2012)


              • Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)

                "Where are we going?
                -Where they went.
                Suppose they went nowhere?
                -Then this will be your big chance to get away from it all."

                House of Dark Shadows (1970)

                "Vampirism is not a disease, Julia. Vampires are the living dead."
                Space Cop
                The Dandy
                Last edited by Space Cop; 07-01-2016, 08:16 PM.


                • What, no edging Samuri movies lately?


                  • Never Back Down (2008)

                    "No matter what happens, control the outcome. It's on you."

                    Originally posted by MP-05 View Post
                    What, no edging Samuri movies lately?
                    Well, Spock does wait seven years for release, so . . .
                    Space Cop
                    The Dandy
                    Last edited by Space Cop; 07-01-2016, 01:19 AM.


                    • Originally posted by Space Cop View Post
                      Well, Spock does wait seven years for release, so . . .


                      • Side note: you know, I just realized I haven't typed one cuss word since M told us about the Son of M occasionally reading the forum. That's like a winning streak for me. LoL


                        • Maleficent (2014)


                          • Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984)

                            "This isn't reality. This is fantasy. You wanted adventure, how's this?"


                            • /\ that was like Uhura's best scene ever.a


                              • Never Back Down 2: The Beatdown (2011)

                                "An angry mind is a narrow mind."

                                Originally posted by MP-05 View Post
                                /\ that was like Uhura's best scene ever.a
                                When I was watching it again, I was kind of cheering that moment. She schooled the youngster. The line also has a maybe unintentionally meta quality, almost like the movie is saying "you Trekkies just relax and have fun."