Last film you saw, vol. 6

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The Lego Batman Movie (2017)

[Space Cop The Dandy Find all posts View Profile Close Space Cop]

The Firing Line (1988)

"Where do you think he got his consciousness from?"

Sub-par actioner movie about an American military advisor who joins the South American rebels he was fighting after his side betrayed him. Tweed is an American civilian in the wrong place at the wrong time also forced to join the rebels (in a more substantial uniform than the cover suggests).

MST3K: Legend of Dinosaurs (and Monster Birds) [1973/1989]

"He's using an American camera!
-It's a parallel universe."

This is a really early episode (before they were even nationally syndicated) so it's very unpolished (they talk over each other and flub sometimes), but the movie (a Japanese dinosaur cash-in on Jaws) is so bizarre that it's still fun.

Rise: Blood Hunter (2007)

"Here I thought bartenders were supposed to be like priests."

This was better than it seems to be regarded though it is a bit slow and the jumping back and forth in the timeline doesn't add anything.

Throne of Blood (1957)

"Ambition is false fame and will fall. Death will reign. Man falls in vain."

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Alien: Covenant (2017)

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Annabelle: Creation (2017)

"What is it?
-Who cares. Run!"

Not great, but not bad. Much better than the last Annabelle movie. Had several tie-ins to the Conjuring universe including one reference to the real-life Annabelle doll (plus I think a nod to Ringu).

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla (1974)

"This material can only be space titanium.
-Space titanium? You mean it's from outer space?"

[Mister.Weirdo Guardian of the Universe Find all posts View Profile Close Mister.Weirdo]

Saw this at the tribune screening at the Dartmouth, and wow. It really does live up to the hype. It truly is magical. Hawkins deserves the Oscar, she's brilliantly conveys emotions with a lack of dialogue, & the rest of the supporting cast is great too. It may have surpassed Dunkirk as my favorite film of the year. It's that good.

Also saw Hostiles at that same screening the next day (which is today, and there is no poster available), and that was good.

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The Last Horror Movie (2003)

"No creativity without neuroses."

All Creatures Great and Small (1975)

"So, I'm hired then?"

Before the much more popular show came this TV movie. Not bad.

[Agent Purple The Illustrated Man Find all posts View Profile Close Agent Purple]

To Be or Not To Be (1983)

"Ladies and gentlemen, for the sake of your sanity, the rest of the movie will not be in Polish."

"SCHULTZ!"


A theater company in 1939 Warsaw, Poland, has a difficult time adjusting to life after Nazi Germany invades, but gets up to its neck in trouble when it is dragged into an espionage plot to save the resistance and escape oppression.

I have to say this was absolutely hilarious and brilliant. It's political as shit (which is why my dad has never heard of it despite knowing well enough about Mel Brooks's works), but the gags are just great. It was great to see George Gaynes again (always loved him in Police Academy), and both Charles Durning and Christopher Lloyd were beyond hysterical as bungling Gestapo (Durning always demanding answers of Lloyd, Lloyd trying to explain, Durning getting pissed that Lloyd is apparently blaming him).

I got a real kick out of all the twists and turns things take, the whole "imposter" routine and the trickery the theater pulls off. This also plays very well to how internally competitive and suspicious the Nazis were of each other, essentially sabotaging themselves in grabs for glory.

Overall a hilarious and fun watch.

Highly recommend.

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CHiPs (2017)

"If this was a public bathroom, you'd be shooting your weapon all over the place."

Raunchy as all get out and totally counter to the show, but I guess it was worth a watch.

The Giant Claw (1957)

"I said it looked like a battleship, not that it was a battleship."

Godzilla vs. Gigan (1972)

"Monsters and peace, huh?"

[Mister.Weirdo Guardian of the Universe Find all posts View Profile Close Mister.Weirdo]

Saw this at the telluride screenings in Dartmouth. Actually liked it quite a bit. It's really funny and surprisingly fairly deep too. It's less about the fantastical elements and more about the mundane in typical Payne fashion. Damon's good but Waltz may be the MVP. A lot of his lines and delivery, had my theater rolling with laughing anyway.

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MST3K: The Amazing Colossal Man (1957/1991)

"The Army's best stock footage is called for duty!"

I tried to stream a copy of ACM on Youtube and it actually got pulled when I was about ten minutes from finishing it. So, I ordered a burned copy (there's no official DVD release) and re-watched the MST3K episode.

Batman vs. Robin (2015)

"A biological accident doesn't make you my father and as sure as hell doesn't make me your son!"

The Monolith Monsters (1957)

"The desert's full of things that don't belong."

Shrek Forever After (2010)

"Are my kids cute or do they make people uncomfortable?"

[Agent Purple The Illustrated Man Find all posts View Profile Close Agent Purple]

Shit, the clerk at my LCS has been trying to find any copy of ACM for ages. If it's in MST3K form, then I'm gonna have to grab a copy for myself as well.

[Space Cop The Dandy Find all posts View Profile Close Space Cop]

Day of the Kamikaze (2008)

"That's not how you're supposed to fight a war."

Power Rangers (2017)

"Krispy Kreme? This is a special place?!"

I never watched MMPR, so I came in to this with the barest of expectations. I thought it was decent, not great.

The Pirates (2014)

"What kind of pirate gets seasick?"

A pretty good Korean pirate adventure story. On the way to founding a new capitol, a governor loses the royal seal to a whale attack and pretty soon threatens pirates to hunt the whale down. Another band of land-based bandits gets part of the story and gives pirating a try. Lots of comedy, but good action. At least as good as the first PotC sequel (probably better). And the lady pirate leader may be the most attractive pirate I've seen in a movie.


War of the Colossal Beast (1958)

"Giants can run fast. They have long legs."

The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957)

"Yes, smaller than the smallest, I meant something, too. To God, there is no zero. I still exist!"

And, no, I wasn't specifically aiming for a marathon of 60-year-old sci-fi movies. It's just when I got started the others were either on the same disc or recommended on the sidebar of Youtube.

Shit, the clerk at my LCS has been trying to find any copy of ACM for ages. If it's in MST3K form, then I'm gonna have to grab a copy for myself as well.

Good luck. That version seems to be rare (and confined to VHS) too. I watched it on Youtube, which also has the MST3K version of the sequel (War of the Colossal Beast). I'm streaming the non-riffed version now.

[Sylent_Asassin Black Lantern Find all posts View Profile Close Sylent_Asassin]

All Eyez on me- I enjoyed this because I'm a fan, but felt like they glossed over a great deal of content in the interest of time. I also felt that they tried canonizing his character like he was a civil rights activist, which he was certainly not. That doesn't make it any less enjoyable, though.

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Mr. 3000 (2004)

"Stan, you heard the sausage."

The Eye (2002)

"Have you seen my report card?"

Christine (1983)

"Don't think you have the golden key to the crapper!"

Happy Birthday, Stephen King.
R.I.P, Harry Dean Stanton.

MST3K: War of the Colossal Beast (1958/1991)

"Lost in the valley of the shadow of subplots."

[Agent Purple The Illustrated Man Find all posts View Profile Close Agent Purple]

Assassin's Creed (2016)

"For the Creed."

A fast-and-loose adaptation of the video game franchise, focusing more on elements of the first game but set in 1492 Spain. Micheal Fassbender is forced by Marion Cotillard (of The Dark Knight Rises infamy) and Jeremy Irons (of Batman v Superman infamy) into reliving 500-year-old memories so that the not-a-myth Apple of Eden can be recovered and used to mind control all of humanity.

And starring Brendan Gleeson as Fassbender's Dad.

I found this to be a little..psychotropic at times, with Fass hallucinating on and off, seeing his dead ancestor outside of the Animus and practicing his Bruce Lee impersonation in doing so. There was also a shit-load of fog/dust/airborne particulates during the flashbacks into Andalucia, Spain, even when the city wasn't in the throes of religious civil war. There wasn't a whole lot to see of the city, which was a real loss, but hey, they have a wildly inaccurate Animus to justify the distribution of funds.

Seriously, the Animus is a complete joke. It's this big, shitty-looking mechanical crane-arm-thing that picks users up and allows them to physically reenact their ancestors' lives. The Animus chamber also uses projectors to display horribly-rendered visuals of what is being seen, despite having computers record everything anyway. This is so wildly off the mark that even people who aren't familiar with what the real Animus is like will roll their eyes. Complete waste of money (same with Cotillard, she's a goddamn plank of wood).

I did, however, really enjoy the flashbacks having Spanish-only speech, which makes sense because it's set 500 years ago, and English wasn't as well-spread for the common people and even those who would know a fair bit of English would still strongly prefer their usual tongue.

Overall a ho-hum flick that I think would have been better served if the present-day sections had been downplayed and the Animus-wasted money used to liven the Spain setting up a bit and explore those characters (there's a reason the modern parts of the games aren't the focus).

Have a couple cold brews and kill an afternoon, but otherwise hardly worth 2.5 hours.