Last film you saw, vol. 6

[Jeff Guardian of the Universe Find all posts View Profile Close Jeff]

Hack the Movies reviewed this. I haven't watched it yet because I haven't watched the movie yet, but it's on my Tubi list.

Not that I love screaming, but my dad, who has tinnitus, is super sensitive to high-pitched children.

I lasted about 3 minutes into that review. There's no way I could go through over an hour's worth of tangents, unrelated subjects, and general clumsiness on behalf of the reviewer. Take out the B.S. and narrow it down to 20 minutes, then I can handle that.

All my senses are super sensitive (for better or worse), especially my hearing, so listening to that little girl drove me nuts. I lowered the volume a couple times just to get rid of the stinging sensation in my ears.

So then I watched....

Mortuary. (1983) (not to be confused with the film I previously saw with the same title)

Wow, this is a sick one. A young and handsome Bill Paxton stars in this crazy tale about unrequited love, which involves a roller rink (haven't seen one of those in years!), an overbearing dad, some kind of satanic cult, and a lovely young couple who have to deal with it all. It was ok. I think I enjoyed the 2006 movie of the same title more, but keep in mind this was 1983, the year of Jaws 3-D.

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Wild Things (1998)
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“My daughter does not get raped in Blue Bay!”
—25^th anniversary.

I lasted about 3 minutes into that review. There's no way I could go through over an hour's worth of tangents, unrelated subjects, and general clumsiness on behalf of the reviewer. Take out the B.S. and narrow it down to 20 minutes, then I can handle that...

Legit. I've gotten used to it and I I think it's because he views it as a podcast. Ditto The Movie Dumpster. I like both, but they can be annoying and sometimes they're longer than the movie itself. I actually keep a playlist on Youtube of my subscriptions that are too long to watch right away.

[TazzMission Guardian of the Universe Find all posts View Profile Close TazzMission]

Finished Wednesday. Man that was awesome. I need to find the original comics because this wasnt the 90s Adams family i grew up on. Its got a detective type story and Wednesday is badass.

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Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993)
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“These men have taken a supreme vow of celibacy, like their fathers, and their fathers before them.”
—30^th anniversary.

Finished Wednesday. Man that was awesome. I need to find the original comics because this wasnt the 90s Adams family i grew up on. Its got a detective type story and Wednesday is badass.

The original comics were one-panel satires in the New Yorker.

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[Jeff Guardian of the Universe Find all posts View Profile Close Jeff]

Clive Barker's Book of Blood. (2009)

When done right, Clive Barker's films have a very individual feel to them -they are sensual, mind expanding, tasteful in the horror elements, beautifully landscaped, and execution of gore (if any) is done in a less-TCM/more-avant garde manner. That is his style, just as Stephen King, Sean Cunningham, Wes Craven and a few select others have their own styles. Book of Blood is a perfect example of a Clive Barker story come to life. Director John Harrison did an extraordinary job in relaying Barker's words to the screen.

This one is a bit of a time warp in linear story telling. You begin near the end, proceed to the very beginning, and end up maybe 15 minutes at the real end. It makes perfect sense once you see it. The basic premise is a house where supernatural highways intersect, sending souls to their rightful destinations, but some of these souls need their stories to be heard before they can pass on. To find out who the main players and motives are, you have to watch the movie for yourself, which I think you will enjoy.

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Punisher: War Zone (2008)
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“Let me put you out of my misery.”
—R.I.P. Ray Stevenson.

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Dolittle (2020)

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WarGames (1983)
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“Would you like to play a game?”
—40^th anniversary.

The Addams Family (2019)
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“Everyone all right? No missing limbs that weren't already missing before you came?”

Star Wars: Episode VI: The Return of the Jedi (1983)
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“When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not.”
—40^th anniversary.

[TazzMission Guardian of the Universe Find all posts View Profile Close TazzMission]

Jason takes Manhattan. People shit on it but i like it. I haven't watched it in years so.

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The Leopard Man (1943)
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“Poor don’t cheat one another. We’re all poor together.”
—80^th anniversary.

Tim (1979)
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“You told me that one day I would be so happy that I’d cry.”
—Piper Laurie plays a posh middle-aged lady who hires dimwitted Tim (pre-fame Mel Gibson) to garden but genuinely wants to take care of him.

Jason takes Manhattan. People shit on it but i like it. I haven't watched it in years so.

There are definitely good bits in it (like the famous boxing scene). The major complaints are (1) they don't get to NYC until the end; (2) NYC is mostly Vancouver; (3) that awful melting Jason effect.

[TazzMission Guardian of the Universe Find all posts View Profile Close TazzMission]

The Leopard Man (1943)
leopard_man_poster_01.jpg
“Poor don’t cheat one another. We’re all poor together.”
—80^th anniversary.

Tim (1979)
p2020_d_v8_aa.jpg
“You told me that one day I would be so happy that I’d cry.”
—Piper Laurie plays a posh middle-aged lady who hires dimwitted Tim (pre-fame Mel Gibson) to garden but genuinely wants to take care of him.



There are definitely good bits in it (like the famous boxing scene). The major complaints are (1) they don't get to NYC until the end; (2) NYC is mostly Vancouver; (3) that awful melting Jason effect.

If a new film does happen id like to see elias voorhees since he was originally supposed to be in Jason lives.

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Riders of Destiny (1933)
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“I’ll do what I can.”
—Happy birthday, Duke. One of his early short(ish) films with Gabby Hayes. Not great, but funny how they try to pass him off as a singing cowboy via dubbing.

If a new film does happen id like to see elias voorhees since he was originally supposed to be in Jason lives.

Could be fun. Hopefully they would mess up the backstory like #9 did.

[TazzMission Guardian of the Universe Find all posts View Profile Close TazzMission]

Could be fun. Hopefully they would mess up the backstory like #9 did.

If executed right it could be a small 10 episode preqeul series. Center it around pamela and elias. You can have the finale end where a young Jason drowns

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Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
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“That is one pudgy dragon!”

[Jeff Guardian of the Universe Find all posts View Profile Close Jeff]

Infestation (2009)


"You're killing him!"

"No sh*t!"

Cute little comedy horror to watch that turned out to be quite a gem. Giant Insects swarm the city and its up to a group of misfits to bomb the nest. Along the way, we meet new characters, see characters killed, and ride a roller coaster of emotional tropes. There's the said insects, giant beetles, human/spider hybrids, and the queen herself. The nest looks amazing; could totally go toe to toe from the nest in Aliens (1986). Add in the romantic ending and this film would have been perfect, except the last 5 seconds leave us on a cliffhanger that was never realized in a second movie, which is kind of a downer. Even after all this time, I would still accept a sequel 14 years later.