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Last film you saw, vol. 6

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  • First Blood (1982)
    “Let it go.”
    —I think I’ve done this before but decided to watch this during the Christmas season because it appears to be set during that time (the PD and town are decorated for it). I don’t really consider it a true Christmas movie (like Die Hard or Lethal Weapon), but the idea was in my head and it’s definitely a cold-weather movie.

    It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)
    “No man is a failure who has friends.”

    Lethal Weapon (1987)
    “Remarks like that will not get you invited to Christmas dinner.
    -My luck's changing for the better every day.

    Scrooge (1951)
    [A Christmas Carol]
    “We Spirits of Christmas do not live only one day of our year. We live the whole 365. So is it true of the Child born in Bethlehem. He does not live in men’s hearts one day of the year, but in all days of the year.”
    –Family tradition on Christmas Eve (our favorite).

    Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
    “You’re staring off into space like some moon goon.”
    –Personal tradition for Christmas Eve.

    Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)
    “Vengeance blackens the soul, Bruce. I’ve always feared that you would become that which you fought against. You walk the edge of that abyss every night, but you haven’t fallen in and I thank heaven for that.”
    —30th anniversary.

    The Sting (1973)
    “There’s always a Depression on.”
    —50th anniversary.

    The Werewolf and the Yeti (1975)
    [The Night of the Howling Beast]
    “I’ll kill you b****es!”
    —My werewolf pick for the Cold Moon. Typical Naschy wolf pick.

    The Exorcist (1973)
    “I think the point is to make us despair. To see ourselves as animal and ugly. To make us reject the possibility that God could love us.”
    —50th anniversary.

    [Rifftrax:] Stitches (2001/2020)
    “Passive-aggressive demons are the worst kind.”

    Family Band: The Cowsills Story (2011)
    “For all intents and purposes, we were the Beatles.”
    —Pretty good, but sad documentary about the 60s band.

    Madadayo (1993)
    “A lump of gold with no impurities. I guess they mean you’re a true professor. You’re our German professor, but I feel you've taught us a lot of other very valuable lessons.”
    —Kurosawa’s final film. Small, but good film.

    Futureworld (1976)
    “It’s a 400. It’s programmed not to stop us.
    -Are you sure.
    —Watched with family because we’d seen Westworld for its 50th and I have Prime for a couple more weeks.

    BMX Bandits (1983)
    "It’s the least we could do.
    -If it wasn’t we couldn’t afford it.”
    —40th anniversary of Nicole Kidman’s second feature and part of the short-lived BMX craze of 80s movies.


    • Evil Dead (2013)


      • Schindler’s List (1993)
        “Not essential? I think you misunderstand the meaning of the word. I teach history and literature, since when it’s not essential?”
        —30th anniversary.

        Sworn to Justice (1996)
        “You’re going to get your butt in a sling.”

        Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity (1987)
        “If life wasn’t so cruel, everything would be beautiful.”

        [Rifftrax:] Kingdom of the Spiders (1977/2013)
        “Shatner is fixating because ‘adequate’ is the best review he’s ever gotten.”

        The Flash (2023)
        “That was actually only half stupid!”

        The Addams Family 2 (2021)
        “Different is what the extra D in Addams stands for.”

        Monster from the Ocean Floor (1954)
        “I still don’t see why you have to stick your pretty little chin out.”
        —Roger Corman’s first production.

        M3GAN (2022)
        “Tell her to write me a list of things to say so I look like I know what I’m talking about.”


        • Hellboy (2019)


          • Salem’s Lot (1979)
            “You’ll enjoy Mr. Barlow. And he’ll enjoy you.”
            —R.I.P. David Soul.

            Lake Michigan Monster (2018)
            “Ah, the man know the question, but not the answer.
            -That’s why I asked”
            —Goofy but kind of funny low-budget monster comedy.

            Heavy Metal 2000
            “To forget history is to allow evil to rise again.”

            Never Surrender: A Galaxy Quest Documentary (2019)
            “For the most part, the nerds have inherited the earth.”

            [Rifftrax:] The Shape of Things to Come (1979/2020)
            “Teens with feathered hair use pool skimmers to destroy robots—classic HG Wells!”

            Samaritan (2022)
            “I like being alone. You know what bothers me? What really depresses me? Being around other people.”
            —My final viewing in my free month of Amazon Prime. Not bad.

            Dracula 2000 (2000)
            “I don’t drink … coffee.”

            Lifeboat (1944)
            “What now, little men?”
            —80th anniversary of the John Steinbeck-written Hitchcock classic.


            • The Poseidon Adventure (1972)


              • The Case for Christ (2017)
                “Okay, God, you win.”
                —Re-watch for me, first for my folks, who liked it.

                Hellfest (2018)
                “I'm gonna need her back dude.”
                —A Christmas gift from a friend. Pretty good. Yes, it makes a strange double feature with the previous one, but funny enough it was a Christmas gift from a deacon at my church.

                Death Wish [V]: The Face of Death (1994)
                “What did you say?
                -I don’t know. I can’t hear.”
                —30th anniversary. There are some good bits in this last entry of the original series, but it’s pretty bad. The sound is awful. I had to blast it to hear the dialogue (at one point you could hear the sound of fabric rubbing on the mic clearer than the words), but then had to lower it for background sounds or action scenes.

                [Rifftrax:] RAD (1986/2023)
                “If you’re good enough, the bikes pedal themselves.”
                —I actually backed this one, so it was fun to see my name among hundreds in the thank you part of the slide show.

                Megaforce (1982)
                “In the ‘70s we could be idealists. But today, it’s too expensive.”
                —Unintentionally watched two Hal Needham films two nights in a row. Fun. I get why some people call this the best “GI Joe” movie.

                Garden State (2004)
                “I thought you killed yourself. That wasn’t you?
                -No, that wasn’t me.”
                —20th anniversary. Still has good stuff, but on this second viewing (my first was with a club) most of the characters annoyed me.

                Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
                “Do the chickens have large talons?”
                —20th anniversary.

                The Spectacular Legacy of the AWA (2012)
                “The list is a who’s who.”
                —Very interesting documentary about Gagne’s MN territory that ended up developing a lot of the stars of the WWF.
                Space Cop
                The Dandy
                Last edited by Space Cop; 01-27-2024, 01:24 PM.


                • The Addams Family (2019)


                  • Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)
                    “Basically you’re saying marriage is just a way of getting out of an embarrassing pause in conversation.
                    -The definitive icebreaker.”
                    —30th anniversary.

                    Luther (1974)
                    “The simple need of people is to find God without paying Rome for the privilege.”
                    —Had never seen this particular movie version of the life of Martin Luther but when I heard about and that Stacy Keach (not exactly known for this kind of art) starred, I decided to give it a try (specifically on its 50th anniversary). Free on Youtube.

                    Matrix Reloaded (2003)
                    “Old men like me don’t bother with making points. There’s no point.”

                    Zulu (1964)
                    “The army doesn't like more than one disaster in a day.”
                    —60th anniversary.

                    Willie Dynamite (1974)
                    “You gotta make him feel like he’s boning the Statue of Liberty.”
                    —50th anniversary. If you know Black Dynamite, but not this, the pimp council scene is straight out of this. The titular pimp was played by Roscoe Orman best known as Gordon from Sesame Street.

                    The Blair Witch Project (1999)
                    “Witches in days gone by were roasted just like my Vienna sausage.”
                    —25th anniversary. I hadn’t seen this since it was in theater. I still didn’t like it overall, but I appreciated more of it this time.

                    Howling VI: The Freaks (1991)
                    “You're the worst kind of freak, one who tries to control it.”
                    —My werewolf choice for the wolf moon.

                    The Holdovers (2023) “I can’t fail this class.
                    -Oh, don’t sell yourself short, Mr. Kountze, I truly believe that you can.”

                    [Rifftrax:] Megaforce (1982/2015)
                    “He says every line like he’s trying to seduce the person he’s talking to.”
                    Space Cop
                    The Dandy
                    Last edited by Space Cop; 01-27-2024, 02:17 PM.


                    • The Addams Family 2 (2021)


                      • The Fighting Seabees (1944)
                        “Well, I’m glad to know you Friday even if it’s only Thursday.”
                        —80th anniversary.

                        Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)
                        “To survive a war, you gotta become war.”

                        Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
                        “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room.”
                        —60th anniversary.

                        [Rifftrax:] The Matrix (1999/2006)
                        “Why are their computers so greasy?”

                        Fit to Kill (1993)
                        “Captain Burke, you naughty nautical boy!”

                        Robocop (2014)
                        “No, it's nothing personal. Although, I don't like you as a person.”
                        —Only my second watch and I’m still not a fan, but there are good bits here. Decided to re-watch for its 10th anniversary and because a while ago I picked up the BD/DVD combo for 75ȼ, which I figured was worth it if just for completion’s sake (though I still need to buy 2 and 3).

                        Five Guns West (1955)
                        “You get your mind on too many things, you wind up with nothin’.”
                        —Early Corman western. Neither great nor bad.

                        The Exorcist: Believer (2023)
                        “What do you believe evil is?”
                        —Not good, but probably not as bad as #2.

                        G.I. Joe: Aris,e Serpentor, Arise! (1986)
                        “Yo Joeski!”
                        —It’s debatable this is a movie, but they did take the main miniseries of the series and put them together in a single, cinematic form including the opener to season 2. Watched for the 60th anniversary of GI Joe.

                        Enemy Gold (1993)
                        “You’re familiar with this cross-bow? It’s the latest in silent assault weapons technology. The tip of this arrow explodes three seconds after penetration.
                        -Reminds me of an old boyfriend.”


                        • Thanksgiving (2023)


                          • Day the World Ended (1955)
                            “You got pretty good taste in sports shirts, mister!”
                            —Re-watched as part of Dark Corners covering Corman’s movies.

                            Rambo III (1988)
                            “God would have mercy. He won’t.”

                            The Dallas Connection (1994)
                            “You should have read your fortune cookie.”

                            Rambo (2008)
                            “Lord, make me your instrument of peace. Where there is hatred, let me bring love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith.”

                            [Rifftrax:] The Matrix Reloaded (2003/2008)
                            “Before your favorite franchises were infected with Godfather Syndrome and let you down with #3 in the trilogy, The Matrix was there, flaunting convention and sucking in Part 2.”

                            Blazing Saddles (1974)
                            “Men, you are about to embark on a great crusade to stamp out runaway decency in the west.”
                            —50th anniversary.

                            The Monuments Men (2014)
                            “Who would make sure that the statue of David is still standing or the Mona Lisa is still smiling?”
                            —10th anniversary.

                            Rock All Night (1957)
                            “I got troubles of my own.”
                            —Early Corman flick.

                            Rambo: Last Blood (2019)
                            “All the ones I’ve loved are now ghosts. But I will fight to keep their memory alive forever.”


                            • Silent Night (2023)


                              • Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning: Part One (2023)
                                “We live and die in the shadows, for those we hold close, and for those we never meet.”
                                —Watched on Paramount+. Like most of these, I find them entertaining, but not particularly memorable. They keep having these moments where I’m obviously supposed to recognize a character and I really don’t.

                                The Crow (1994)
                                “Can’t rain all the time.”
                                —30th anniversary.

                                Matrix Revolutions (2003)
                                “I have your word?
                                -What do you think I am? Human?”

                                The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent (1957)
                                -They can be handled. They’re only men.“
                                —Another early Roger Corman flick (produced and directed), free on Youtube.

                                Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)
                                “We didn’t come here to fight with monsters. We’re not equipped for it.”
                                —70th anniversary.

                                [Rifftrax:] Robocop: The TV Show (1994/2023)
                                “Not sure why they gave him feet that sound like staplers.”

                                2nd Chance (2022)
                                “I decided I had to do it. I had to get shot in the vest.”
                                —Showtime documentary about the controversial creator of 2nd Chance body armor, who shot himself in the torso over 150 times.

                                Day of the Warrior (1996)
                                “We’re gonna get killed!
                                -I’ve told you a thousand times, you’ve got to think positive!
                                I’m positive we’re gonna get killed!”

                                Cupid (2020)
                                “I spooned you because I wanted to.”
                                —Pretty bad English cheap horror about a scorned schoolgirl summoning the titular god as a revenge demon.

                                Good Burger 2 (2023)
                                “Why do you have maple syrup in the bathroom?
                                -For the pancakes, duh.”

                                Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023)
                                “How did I end up with a big stick?”
                                —A different take, but a good one, I thought. I think it’s probably the best at portraying them as actual teens.