Last film you saw, vol. 6

[Space Cop]

G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)
“Making more things go boom before 9 AM than most people do all day.”
—10^th anniversary. Joe fans are divided on this one, but I still like it. Shared it with my folks for the first time. Also for the first time (IIRC) watched and liked the special features.

The Duellists (1977)
“General Feraud has made occasional attempts to kill me. That does not give him the right to claim my acquaintance.”
—Ridley Scott’s first feature film.

A Mighty Wind
“This flame, like all flames, represents the light and darkness. It also represents the uncertainty of life and its delicacy. It also represents a penis.”
—20^th anniversary of another fun one from Christopher Guest. I’m actually enough of a folk fan to know most of what they’re spoofing here.

[Rifftrax:] Martial Law (1990/2019)
“Props by the dumpster behind the Home Depot.”

In Search of Tomorrow (2022)
“It’s timeless.”
—A 5 hour documentary on 80s sci-fi from the folks that did the three docs on 80s horror (In Search of Darkness) and watched and liked with the family.

Willard (2003)
“You might be out of your mind, but your body’s staying here.”
—20^th anniversary of the remake.

The Year of the Rat (2003)
“It’s an achievement that any movie gets made.”
—Making of documentary from the second assistant director on Willard.

Bullet Train (2022)
“A plum does not resent the hungry man, but the farmer who planted the tree.
-He resents the farmer?
- So how do plums have fucking resentments now?”
—Sometimes found this annoying and trying to be cool too hard, but it ended well and I enjoyed it overall.

The Crazies (1973)
“We’ll dope it out sooner or later.”
—50^th anniversary of Romero’s underrated outbreak flick.

Leprechaun in the Hood (2000)
“I’ll take it from you, homie, you’ll see, cause you know the Leprechaun is the real O.G.”
—Happy St. Patrick’s Day.

[robojac]

Amistad (1997)

[Space Cop]

I Live in Fear (1955)
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“His only fault is going too far. But his anxiety about the bomb is something we all share.”
—Another Kurosawa flick (I’m working my way through them as I follow a guy on Youtube covering them). A foundry-owner/family patriarch (Mifune playing much older) is so panicked about nuclear war he wants to sell everything and move all the family to Brazil. They petition to have him ruled incompetent.

Evil Dead (2013)
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“She just cut her f***ing arm off. Does that sound fine?”
—10^th anniversary.

G.I. Joe: Resolute (2009)
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“Who the hell has time for pain?”

War of the Colossal Beast (1958)
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“The foot that made that print is about ten times the size of a normal man's. That would make him about sixty feet tall.
-Glenn was sixty feet tall!”
—R.I.P. Bert I. Gordon.

[Rifftrax:] Daredevil (2003/7)
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“Being blind, physics no longer applied to me.”

Always (1989)

My favorite actress (Audrey Hepburn)'s final film appearance. It's been years. I need to see it again.

[robojac]

Always (1989)

[Space Cop]

[Joe Bob Briggs Ruins Christmas:] Ice Cream Man (1995/2021)
“You little turds are gonna have to learn, you can’t run from the ice cream man!”
—Shuddered in prep to (hopefully) meet Clint Howard at a con I ended up not going to.

Treasure of the Amazon (1985)
“Remember that women have a pact with the devil, but don’t worry, because we have no women here.”

Sanshiro Sugata (1943)
“You’re strong; very strong; maybe even stronger than me. But your judo and my judo are worlds apart. Do you know why? Because you don’t understand humanity. Teaching judo to such a man is like giving a knife to a lunatic.”
—Kurosawa’s first film.

Gone in 60 Seconds (1974)
“See you around, Billy.”
—Shared with my folks. My stepdad likes classic cars so I thought he had to see this one, whose third act is the longest car chase in film (at 40+ minutes).

The Legend (1993)
“Mom is here to save you.”
—30^th anniversary. Hadn’t seen this in quite a while. It has good stuff in it, but I forgot how much goofy humor it has, which is extra weird when followed by heavy drama and gory violence. Another entry in Chinese cinema’s mythology of Fong Sai-yuk.

Sanshiro Sugata: Part Two (1945)
“It’s not good. A man with no guts can neither make a woman happy nor can he complete anything in this life.”
—Kurosawa’s first sequel. Not his best, but alright.

Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman (1943)
“Quit that singing! Eternally! I don’t want to live eternally! Why did you say that to me?”
—80^th anniversary. I know a lot of fans consider this a lesser entry, but I love it.

The Big Lebowski (1998)
“Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon with nail polish.”
—25^th anniversary. I’m not one of the diehard fans, but I liked it enough to spend the few bucks the used BD cost me and to occasionally revisit it.

The White Gorilla (1945)
“What does all this have to do with the white gorilla?”
—A not-great film (only 62 minutes) mostly using footage from a 1927 silent serial. The frame adds the titular primate played by a man in a suit and a narrator, who tries to make a narrative of disparate jungle clips.
Teen Wolf (1985)
“There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body.”
—My choice for the full (worm) moon and because yesterday I got a BBTS order yesterday including the Toony Terrors figure of Scott Howard.

The Ninth Gate (1999)

I've always been aware of this movie but never watched it because I can't stand Johnny Depp, both as an actor and (lack of) a human being. I figured "hey, it's free on Tubi and they categorize it as horror, so I'll take a shot." I should have stuck to my original train of thought.

What a rip off at the end! I was starting to get involved in the story, starting to like the characters, and I'm sitting there waiting to see who summons Satan, and I totally got gyped! What a waste of something that had so much potential. This was more like an action adventure movie with a stupid conclusion. Not much if any horror in it. Hard Pass.

I don't remember the end, but I do vaguely remember liking it (not the best of the type).

The People under the Stairs (1991)

Another movie that has always been in my peripheral vision, just never watched it. Again, free on Tubi, but this one was actually worth the watch. I quite enjoyed it. As sick and depraved as some of the angles portrayed in this film might be, you can't help but root for Fool. He's a good kid. I think this would have been much more scarier if all the slapstick comedy aspects were jettisoned in favor of a more serious tone, but I'll still take it. Recommended.

Yeah, I like this one and have it on DVD, but haven't watched it in years.

[Jeff]

The Ninth Gate (1999)

I've always been aware of this movie but never watched it because I can't stand Johnny Depp, both as an actor and (lack of) a human being. I figured "hey, it's free on Tubi and they categorize it as horror, so I'll take a shot." I should have stuck to my original train of thought.

What a rip off at the end! I was starting to get involved in the story, starting to like the characters, and I'm sitting there waiting to see who summons Satan, and I totally got gyped! What a waste of something that had so much potential. This was more like an action adventure movie with a stupid conclusion. Not much if any horror in it. Hard Pass.

The People under the Stairs (1991)

Another movie that has always been in my peripheral vision, just never watched it. Again, free on Tubi, but this one was actually worth the watch. I quite enjoyed it. As sick and depraved as some of the angles portrayed in this film might be, you can't help but root for Fool. He's a good kid. I think this would have been much more scarier if all the slapstick comedy aspects were jettisoned in favor of a more serious tone, but I'll still take it. Recommended.

[Space Cop]

Sound of Horror (1966)
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“Try to be patient with her, Stavros, she’s only an amateur and a woman.”
—Not very good Spanish flick about archaeologists unearthing so weird, not-seen shrieking ancient killer. Most notable for being Hammer beauty Ingrid Pitt’s first movie.

[Rifftrax:] Jack-O (1995/2020)
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“It’s like if you crossed John Carpenter’s theme from Halloween with . . . with a toilet.”

Grand Theft Auto (1977)
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“Turn off your engine for Jesus!”
—Ron Howard’s first direction (for Roger Corman). Reading his and his brother’s (also cast here) memoirs led me to order it from my library system.

Kwaidan (1964)
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“I’ve forgotten my sorrow.”
—Renowned Japanese anthology horror with a long run time (3 hours) and four folk stories very culturally specific.

King Kong (1933)
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“I hear it’ a kind of a gorilla.
-Gee; ain’t we got enough of them in New York?”
—Watched with the fam (who all dig this one) for its 90^th anniversary.

[robojac]

Empire Of The Sun (1987)

[Space Cop]

Dark City (1998)
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"Small world."
—This dark and underrated sci-fi flick turns 25 today. Thought to be a major influence on The Matrix.

Falling Down (1993)
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“I’m the bad guy?”
—30^th anniversary.

[robojac]

Shaft (2019)

[Space Cop]

Drunken Angel (1948)
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“We all have fears, we’re human. But you're too ashamed to admit it. And you confuse that with courage. I’d say, you're all the worst kind of cowards.”
—Early Kurosawa movie and Toshiro Mifune’s first with him. About an alcoholic doctor (Kurosawa and Godzilla regular Takashi Shimura) who treats a Tokyo slum kind of like a clinic and becomes determined to help a young Yakuzu (Mifune) in denial about having TB. Depressing, but good.

Magic Mike XXL (2015)
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“We’re like healers.”
—Meh. Some good stuff, but seemed to have less story than the first.

[robojac]

21 Bridges (2019)



RIP Chadwick Boseman

[Space Cop]

[Rifftrax:] Hobgoblins 2 (2009/2023)
“The 2 in Hobgoblins 2 stands for the two sets.”

Monster from a Prehistoric Planet (1967)
“Stupid bird lizard!”

One Million B.C. (1967)
—R.I.P. Raquel Welch. Hadn’t seen in a while, but fun. Not his best, but some good Harryhausen stuff here nonetheless.

Jason Bourne (2016)
“Remembering everything doesn’t mean you know everything.”

Terror in the Aisles (1984)
“Not all our fantasies are whole, dignified.”
—General overview of horror/suspense in cinema hosted (mainly) by Donald Pleasance. Mostly clips. Free on Youtube.

Pennywise: The Story of It (2021)
“It scared the hell out of millions of people.”
—Two-hour documentary on the making of the miniseries. Holds interest. Even my dad, who doesn’t like making-of special features, enjoyed it.

Crocodile Dundee (1986)
“Imagine seven million people all wanting to live together. Yeah, New York must be the friendliest place on earth.”

[Rifftrax:] San Franpsycho (2006/2021)
“Let’s just hope that it ends here.
—My thought every ten seconds of this movie.”

Hotel Mumbai (2018)
“This is my pagri. To us Sikhs it is sacred, It;s a symbol of honor and courage. Since I was a small boy, I’ve never gone outside without it. To do so would bring shame to my family. But while we are in this hotel, you are my guest and I am your staff. So if it would make you feel comfortable, I will take it off.”

Highlander (1986)
“I’ve been alive for four and a half centuries, and I cannot die.
-Well, everyone has got their problems.”

Snakes on a Plane (2006) . . .
Always a good time to watch this movie . . .

Pretty much. It’s in my collection.

[Jeff]

Snakes on a Plane (2006)

[Grace hears a couple being killed in the bathroom but thinks they are having sex.]
Grace: "Mile High Club. Those were the days."
[The screaming gets louder]
Grace: [smiling] "Wow, this guy is good."
[Abruptly, the screaming stops]
Grace: "Well, maybe not that good."

Always a good time to watch this movie, and it has been so long since I have done so. I forgot the sub plots of Eddie Kim and the FBI protecting the one witness who would testify against Kim. Then of course, you have Samuel Jackson, who brings every film he's in down to Earth. Lastly, the hit stars of this movie are those horrible CGI snakes (but back in the day that was some hip stuff). The one aspect I concentrated on this time around was the Snake Doctor helping the FBI chief figure out was species were on the plane. He reminded me of Hooper from Jaws. Fun, fun movie.
And I bet you thought I was going to use the famous Sam Jackson line for the quote.

[Space Cop]

Arctic (2018)
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“You’re not alone.”
—Mads Mikkelsen plays a crashed pilot in the Arctic who has to save himself and another victim he comes across.

Disco Godfather (1979)
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“Put your weight on it!”
—Wanted to re-watch the Vinegar Syndrome blu ray when I saw Movie Dumpster did a podcast/Youtube video on it.

Police Story (1985)
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“Don’t be a cop if you want to live to 100
-You want this line on the recruitment poster?”