Last film you saw, vol. 6

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Talladega Knights (2006)

"Hey man, I think your house is haunted."

So I'd never watched the full film until now, not on Netflix or TV, anything. Only reason I have the Blu-ray is because a member at my LCS wanted to get rid of a bunch of his stuff and brought in a bag of Blu-rays, this being among them. Hilariously, this isn't "just a Blu-ray," it specifically is labeled as a promotional copy that is not for rent or sale (still has the full film and some audio-sub options). Apparently, "The first four hundred thousand PlayStation 3 systems included a Blu-ray copy of this movie, a month before the DVD release" (IMDB).

I had a few good chuckles from this, but I have to admit, the Modern-Day Neanderthal attitude portrayed by a bunch of the cast is hard for me to get into; it's just a little too surreal for my tastes that people can actually be this thick-skulled. It works for the humor (mostly), and you get these hilarious back-and-forth arguments/discussions especially between Ferrell and Reilly (grace at dinner/Baby Jesus; the divorce; crepes), but it also kept reminding me of the whole "Not A Sport Centered Around Rednecks" joke about NASCAR.

I did like the characters, though. Gary Cole was a tone-deaf dick absentee dad, Jane Lynch was a tough-love mother/granny, John C. Reilly was a best friend even when he was a worst enemy, Amy Adams was cute as fuck, Michael Clarke Duncan was the emotional support every man needs, Molly Shannon being constantly drunk and randy was a good running gag, and of course, Sacha Baron Cohen was fucking hysterical as Jean Gerard.

Seriously, I loved how Cohen really made the Gerard the most lovably despicable guy in the film. He has the personality of a fish and yet he excels at life, whereas Ferrell is more immediately engaging and yet is a moron chasing success. It's such a great portrayal of the duality and the dynamism between them is wonderful.

Before I forget, child Ricky going for a joy ride in his mom's station wagon was fucking hilarious. Also of note were the outtakes during the credits, especially Reilly's and Duncan's.

Overall a good film, even if a little cliched.

[Space Cop The Dandy Find all posts View Profile Close Space Cop]

The Doors (1991)

"Where's your will to be weird?"

Eternal (2005)

"Your head is filled with many strange things screaming to get out."

Pretty weak Canadian thriller in which the main suspect imagines herself to be or really is Lady Bathory kept young with blood.

Flying Guillotine 2 (1978)

"Please punish me."

Plane Dead [aka Flight of the Living Dead] (2007)

"Two in the chest, one in the balls. That's whay I say."

Pretty much a crazy concept movie only--cashing in on the simultaneous success of Snakes on a Plane and the zombie craze. I've seen much worse and I don't regret watching it, but I don't recommend it either. Pretty much what you'd expect: a science experiment escapes on a commercial airline and a zombie outbreak starts with all the crumby CGI you'd expect for a low-budget knockoff. I do love both titles though.

Dave (1993)

"And we're walking, and we're walking, and we're stopping."

Talladega Knights (2006) ... I had a few good chuckles from this, but I have to admit, the Modern-Day Neanderthal attitude portrayed by a bunch of the cast is hard for me to get into; it's just a little too surreal for my tastes that people can actually be this thick-skulled . . . Overall a good film, even if a little cliched . . .

I like this one and also own it on BD, but I used to be big into NASCAR so a lot of it works on that level. But, yeah, it's not a classic or anything.

. . . Gary Cole was a tone-deaf dick absentee dad . . .

But he drives that beautiful Chevelle.

. . . Amy Adams was cute as fuck . . .

Funny you say that. That movie was the first time I noticed her and how cute she can be.

. . .and of course, Sacha Baron Cohen was fucking hysterical as Jean Gerard. . .

As someone who counts Highlander as their favorite movie I loved that running gag between them.

[W.West Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close W.West]

Not a movie but dont want to resurrect the tv thread so...

The Bodyguard

Finished this. Great little series on Netflix. Thought it was going to be a romantic comedy, so I'm really happy it wasn't. Then I thought it was going to be a poor man's Bourne Identity, but it stays on its own path for the most part and wraps it up nicely.

[Space Cop The Dandy Find all posts View Profile Close Space Cop]

Won't You Be My Neighbor? (2018)

"Love is at the root of everything - all learning, all parenting, all relationships. Love or the lack of it."

The Crawlers [aka Troll 3 aka Contamination .7] (1993)

"Rum and Coke, easy on the Coke."

One of two movies that claim to be the third Troll movie despite having nothing to do with each other or the first two. There aren't even any trolls (or goblins). It's about radioactive waste turning plant life killer. Pretty bad. Actually, the acting is as bad as #2, but without the fun.

Spider-man (2002)

"With great power comes great responsibility."

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

"Are you Thor, the god of hammers?"

R.I.P. to Spidey and Thor's comic book daddy.

[BLACK HAND Green Lantern Initiate Find all posts View Profile Close BLACK HAND]

Man I didn't know they tried passing off a movie as Troll 3. Kind of sounds like a CHUD 2 situation where they replaced actual CHUDs with plain old zombies for some reason, but hey its got a fun "Bud the CHUD" theme song going on.

[Space Cop The Dandy Find all posts View Profile Close Space Cop]

The Comancheros (1961)

"How do you know you killed him?
-There wasn't time not to!"

MST3K: Horrors of Spider Island (1960/1999)

"If you're in a plane crash and you're a girl, you instantly become helpless and sex hungered, and you murmer a lot?"

Truth or Dare (2018)

Go ahead, I dare you."

Troll 2 (1990)

"If my father discovers you here, he'd cut off your little nuts and eat them."

Man I didn't know they tried passing off a movie as Troll 3. Kind of sounds like a CHUD 2 situation where they replaced actual CHUDs with plain old zombies for some reason, but hey its got a fun "Bud the CHUD" theme song going on.

Actually, there's two. Check Rolfe's video for details. They have no connection except I guess a producer had the rights (maybe) to use the name. I don't think either was commonly distributed with that name, but it was used at some point. Actually, Bud the Chud is better than this movie was and I wouldn't say I'm a huge fan of that though it had good parts.

+ YouTube Video

[BLACK HAND Green Lantern Initiate Find all posts View Profile Close BLACK HAND]

Wow, when a movie can't pass the cinematic bar set by Bud the Chud, standards are low.

[Space Cop The Dandy Find all posts View Profile Close Space Cop]

X-Men (2000)

"Well, it certainly is a big, round room."

X-Men 2 (2003)

"Got any beer?
-This is a school.
So that's a no?"

Okay, so I don't think I'll list this as my favorite comic book movie anymore, but it still has some really good bits and it probably still has my favorite opening of a comic book movie.

[Rifftrax] X-Men: The Last Stand (2006/2011)

"Turn around.
-Every now and then I get a little bit worried that I'll kill you with my laser-beam eyes."

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

"I'm not afraid to die.
-How would you know? You've never tried it."

Still in the mood to honor Stan the Man.

Wow, when a movie can't pass the cinematic bar set by Bud the Chud, standards are low.

Ha. Quite true.

[Agent Purple The Illustrated Man Find all posts View Profile Close Agent Purple]

Garden State (2004)

"We're a Thai restaurant. We just don't have bread."

Emotionally-detached young man Andrew Largeman (writer-director Zach Braff) returns home for his mother's funeral, and runs into old friends and a whimsical young woman named Sam (Natalie Portman), who makes him question himself enough to truly change.

I can't say this is a bad film, because it really isn't. It isn't poorly written, acted, or directed, and personally I think the beginning is great, with this cabin shot of a plane as it's crashing, everyone losing their shit except for this strangely calm guy who just turns on the air nozzle. It's so surreal that I can't help but love it.

But other than that it is an oddly vacant film. I mean, I suppose it well and truly reflects the emotional detachment of the main character, but I swear it never feels like there's any gravity to the scenes. Braff just largely goes place to place and encounters people he used to know, who have these weird dumb lives now, but the only one that actually comes off as somewhat interesting is the gravedigger (the rich guy, on the other hand, is incredibly shallow). Even the confrontation with his father is underwhelming.

I don't know what to say. It isn't a bad film, not exactly, but damn if it isn't just scene after scene without significant driving force. Not boring, but somehow not engaging.

Actually, now that I think about it, the story of how I got this film is a lot more interesting than the film itself. When Hulk Hogan was kicked from the WWE, I decided it was time I finally snag at least Suburban Commando, because I loved that as a kid and didn't own it. I found a two-in-one DVD of SC and Mr. Nanny on eBay, ordered it, but the seller sent Garden State by mistake. I contacted them and they apologized and said to keep it, what I wanted was out of stock, refunded my payment, and I had to buy the films from another vendor. This film has sat on a shelf for that long, only watched now because I didn't want to force my dad to see Alien: Covenant or Ghost Rider. Guess I've got to find a way to sell it, because this isn't worth owning (even if Danny DeVito helped produce it).

[Space Cop The Dandy Find all posts View Profile Close Space Cop]

Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (2016)

"Who the hell are you?
-The guy you didn't count on."

Quest for the Mighty Sword (1990)
[aka Ator 3, aka Ator 4, aka Hobgoblin, aka Troll 3]

"Well, where are you going?
-To the East.
Why?
-Back ... to find the path back ... to the middle ... world."

And the other Troll 3 . . . is an alright low-budget sorcery movie (that happened to use the goblin costumes from Troll 2).

It Was Fifty Years Ago Today: The Beatles: Sgt. Pepper & Beyond (2017)

"You mention Beatles and it's euphoria. That's the legacy they've left."

The most impressive thing about this documentary is that the filmmakers managed to do this fiftieth retrospective on the album without any Beatles' approval or music. But that's also it's greatest weakness since it relies on more peripheral people and side stories (lots of focus on the Jesus statement and the meditation and such), many of which are well known. So, I'm not quite decided whether when these guys heard they couldn't get permission they were bold to continue or stupid.

[The Beatles'] Help! (1965)

"I should've been a vivisectionist."

I think I watched this this year, but I worked myself in a Beatles mood again waiting for my new anniversary set and I could fit this movie in before bed.

Garden State (2004) . . . I can't say this is a bad film, because it really isn't. It isn't poorly written, acted, or directed...

I saw that at a school film festival. I remember thinking that the crappy melodrama of Star Wars III wasn't Portman's fault because she did some nice dramatic work in this (and later in V for Vendetta and Black Swan etc.).

When Hulk Hogan was kicked from the WWE, I decided it was time I finally snag at least Suburban Commando, because I loved that as a kid and didn't own it. I found a two-in-one DVD of SC and Mr. Nanny on eBay, ordered it, but the seller sent Garden State by mistake. I contacted them and they apologized and said to keep it, what I wanted was out of stock...

I've had that happen a couple times through Amazon or eBay.
BTW: Hogan was reinstated in the Hall of Fame.

[Agent Purple The Illustrated Man Find all posts View Profile Close Agent Purple]

I saw that at a school film festival. I remember thinking that the crappy melodrama of Star Wars III wasn't Portman's fault because she did some nice dramatic work in this (and later in V for Vendetta and Black Swan etc.).

Oh, it was definitely Braff's lackluster writing that killed the drama potential. Portman is weird because her character is weird, but she isn't bad in this.

BTW: Hogan was reinstated in the Hall of Fame.

I know. Heard about it when it happened recently. So long as he rises above that low point, I'll be happy for him.

[Space Cop The Dandy Find all posts View Profile Close Space Cop]

Smokin' Aces 2: Assassins Ball (2010)

"Hip-hop is the unwanted bastard son of superior musical forms like jazz, blues."

Flatliners (1990)

"Everything we do matters."

Song of the South (1946)

"The weather's good; the fishin's fine. Now, what do you do with all your time?
-Oh, I zigs and I zags, I tos and I fros. That's what you ask me and that's what you know."

It Lives Again (1978)

"You could call it a case of temporary insanity."

[BLACK HAND Green Lantern Initiate Find all posts View Profile Close BLACK HAND]

You know what, I think I've actually seen that movie "Quest for the Mighty Sword" aka TROLL 3. You ever have one of those flashbacks where you can kind of pick out images or scenes from a movie from you childhood with no context to what it's from? I think that's it...I'll have to seek it out on youtube or something. Thanks! I am always searching for entertaining trash.

[Space Cop The Dandy Find all posts View Profile Close Space Cop]

Miracle on 34th Street (1947)

"But maybe he's only a little crazy like painters or composers or some of those men in Washington."

X-Men: First Class (2011)

"Are you sure we can't shave your head?"

The Best Offer (2013)

"When simulating another's work the forger can't resist the temptation to put in something of himself."

Very good. About a top, no-nonsense auctioneer who becomes obsessed with an extreme recluse heiress.

Frankenstein Island (1981)

"The backup brain was hidden years ago, just in case!"

Painfully bad and nearly incoherent.

You know what, I think I've actually seen that movie "Quest for the Mighty Sword" aka TROLL 3. You ever have one of those flashbacks where you can kind of pick out images or scenes from a movie from you childhood with no context to what it's from? I think that's it...I'll have to seek it out on youtube or something. Thanks! I am always searching for entertaining trash.

There's a clip of him fighting the double guardian (which is built up in dialogue beforehand) on Youtube that could refresh your memory if you have seen it:

+ YouTube Video

[BLACK HAND Green Lantern Initiate Find all posts View Profile Close BLACK HAND]

I'll definitely have to check that out when I get home for Turkey splurge. Other movies on my watch list this week...Blood Rage and Blood Freak, then Creed II on Saturday.