Last film you saw, vol. 6

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Masterminds (2016)

"Please don't shoot. I've got kids.
-Yeah? Do your kids know that you're a lying, cheating sack of filth?
I just haven't found the right moment to tell them."

The Champ (1931)

"The Champ and I ain't fixed up swell as this, but our joint's more lively."

A very nice flick about a former champion boxer (Wallace Beery), who is hampered in his attempts at a comeback by addiction to alcohol and gambling. When the mother (Irene Rich) of the son (Jackie Cooper) that lives with him pops up, he debates where the boy would be better off. As with other real early talkies, the acting is broad and the plot is not subtle, but it was still touching and worth a watch.

My Mom's a Werewolf (1989)

"I'm having a nightmare. Can I call you back?"

My werewolf pick for this month's full moon. I picked this because it was on Youtube and I could watch it while doing other stuff, but I forgot that I had seen it some time ago (and honestly, it's probably not funny enough to re-watch).

Wolverine (2013)

"How did you know there's a pool down there?
-I didn't."

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Ghost Rider (2007)

"No soul to burn!"

I'm not especially familiar with the GR comics, never read them as a kid and only started with Road to Damnation when Ennis penned that, but I'm passingly familiar with Mephisto and his son, Blackheart, and I got this on Blu-ray for free, so I gave it a go tonight at my dad's (his 66th birthday was this past Thursday, so I also took his gifts down; he liked them and actually surprised me by having a Balrog mini-bust I'd given him years ago sitting out all lit up, I'd actually forgotten I ever gave it to him).

Anyway, the film. I remember when it came out that I felt it should just have been more heavily into the horror genre with a mild mix of superheroism, but I suppose we get almost the right balance here so it doesn't entirely matter. My dad was amused at the Evel Knievel imitation (he told me about how EK actually wanted his suit as white as Elvis's), but while it was kind of fun to see, I thought it went just a bit over-the-top.

I did like seeing the relationship between Barton Blaze (Brett Cullen) and Young Johnny (Matt Long). I liked the detail of the air turning freezing cold when a powerful demon is nearby, though having the lights burst felt a little unnecessary (having them dim, maybe, but not explode). Peter Fonda wasn't bad as Mephisto (dunno why he's called by his full name from Faustus here, Marvel's always kept the shorter version as far back as I can remember), but maybe could have used a little more of a "cultured" style and changed his dress to fit each time period (such as a ritzy business suit for modern times).

Blackheart (Wes Bentley) was shit in this film. He looked like Edward Cullen from Twilight tried to dress up and forgot his taste, and the gang of elemental exiled angels tagging along with him weren't much better (though seeing Rider take them out in different ways was good, and my dad and I both got a laugh out of him being hit by the truck the first fight).

A couple of things that really irritated me while watching the film: the "toothy" and "warped voice" demon touches that films keep having. It's profoundly annoying to try and listen to someone talking with two or three different voices mixed together to make them sound supernatural, and warping their faces to make them have no lips and just hundreds of ugly chompers is just shallow character aesthetic.

I could have sworn the mugger Rider gives the Penance Stare to was Ben Foster (Spacker Dave from The Punisher, 2004), but it's a lookalike of his, Peter Barry. Oh well.

The final fight was mixed for me. On the one hand, it makes sense for Blackheart to be crippled by the sudden weight of punishment for all those sins, which he's never had to experience before and thus is unprepared to counter, but on the other hand, it feels like things went cheap and we didn't get to see a huge fight between Hell's bounty hunter and a jumped-up brat on a serious power trip (I think they were running low on money after all the shit we got earlier in the film). Oh, and my dad was amused at the toasted lizard and the jungle sounds in the fucking desert. Smooth move, studio.

The cops were annoying. That interrogation scene was worse than most of the Law & Order schlock. If one of the biggest celebrities in the country got tossed in a holding cell with a bunch of low-level offenders, I'm pretty sure half of them would want his autograph, and I know most of them would be freaking out at him acting like he's spazzing on drugs. But hey, at least my dad got a chuckle out of Rider's jawbone being knocked loose.

I didn't really get into the love story. I don't think it was badly written, if anything it was one of the better elements in the film, but everything else was kind of overshadowing it for me. Eva Mendes was herself fine.

Overall a decent flick, if visibly flawed. Guess I'll have to rent the sequel now.

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X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

"I rigged up this communications device to allow us to see all the networks America is airing!
-Wow, all three networks.
And PBS!"

X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)

"Well, at least we can all agree the third one's always the worst."

For some reason I liked his more on the second viewing.

Ghost Rider (2007) ...

Saw that one in theaters with my mother because she digs ghosty-demony things.

...Blackheart (Wes Bentley) was shit in this film. He looked like Edward Cullen from Twilight tried to dress up and forgot his taste . . .

Yeah, like Edward EMOed up.

. . . On the one hand, it makes sense for Blackheart to be crippled by the sudden weight of punishment for all those sins, which he's never had to experience before and thus is unprepared to counter, but on the other hand, it feels like things went cheap and we didn't get to see a huge fight between Hell's bounty hunter and a jumped-up brat on a serious power trip (I think they were running low on money after all the shit we got earlier in the film). . . Overall a decent flick, if visibly flawed. Guess I'll have to rent the sequel now.

If you think the first was kind of cheap and sometimes weak, rest assured, it's like gold compared to GR:SoV and it's all-Eastern-European cheapness.

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...I think I might just take SOV off my list, then. I can only tolerate so much cheapness.

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HWY: An American Pastoral (1969)

"They were just little screaming, creamy creeps in the face of reality and they didn't know what was happening anymore than I did. That was the first time I tasted fear."

Paul Ferrara's (photographer and Doors collaborator) semi-feature (51 mins) that follows Jim Morrison hitchhiking from the dessert back to LA. Mostly interesting for Doors/Morrison fans or people interested in 60s art-house stuff.

The Mortal Storm (1940)

"I've never prized safety, Erich, either for myself or my children. I prized courage."

A story of normal people dealing with the rise of the Nazis (starting in '33) in the German Alps. Very good. And brave of WB to do before Pearl Harbor.

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Saw Fantastic Beasts 2 over the weekend. My review.

https://dailyuv.com/970753

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Traded (2016)

"Nothing, and I mean nothing in the whole world, is more important than family."

Pretty by-the-book revenge/rescue western with Michael Pare playing the former gunslinger who must pick up his old habits to save his daughter kidnapped into sex slavery.

Tomb Raider (2018)

"Death is not an adventure!"

Ugh. I was hoping it would be one of those cases where the negative publicity was overhyped, but this was just mostly boring and felt so unlike The spirit of the character. Admittedly, I'm not a huge fan of the franchise (so maybe one of the several games I missed reflects this story), but who greenlit a Tomb Raider where Lara Croft would spend 99% of it with no money, no higher education, no guns, and no interest in archaeology?

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*batteries not included (1987)

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The Crimson Wing: Mystery of the Flamingo (2008)

"They are the children of the lake."

Pretty good Disney nature documentary on the lesser flamingos of Lake Natron (Africa).

Night Feeders (2006)

"Umm, umm. Pull my teeth and call me gummy."

Smallish nocturnal killer aliens land in redneck territory.

[Mister.Weirdo Guardian of the Universe Find all posts View Profile Close Mister.Weirdo]

My review of Ralph Breaks The Internet.

https://dailyuv.com/970802

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Iron Man 2 (2010)

"My bond is with the people, and I will serve this great nation at the pleasure of myself. If there's one thing I've proven it's that you can count on me to pleasure myself."

MST3K: The Gauntlet: Mac and Me (1988/2018)

"The movie that turns ET into BS."

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Haha I want to watch the MST3000 Gauntlet! And I have My Mom is a Werewolf on VHS.

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Gallowwalkers (2012)

"You never forget the man who kills you the first time."

Meh. Weird and not particularly good.

Savage Sisters (1974)

"If anything happens to him, you can squat on your revolution."

MST3K: The Gauntlet: Atlantic Rim (2013/2018)

"Go go dour rangers."

Haha I want to watch the MST3000 Gauntlet!

I briefly considered doing it the way it was "intended": an 8-hour binge, but that's a bit much even for me (or at least it would take me a while before I found an appropriate day for that). Plus, they actually have them as six separate movies/episodes, anyway. In one of the supplements they say the Gauntlet was basically a gag on how people binge on Netflix and a way to do a shorter season.

And I have My Mom is a Werewolf on VHS.

I guess it's really not that bad, but it feels like a much weaker, werewolf version of Fright Night.

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Dracula (1979)

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Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)

"105 years and he still doesn't know my name."

Immortal Combat [aka Resort to Kill] (1994)

"I love you, but I am a warrior."

Better than I was expected, but still a mid-level 90s actioner. Besides having the Hot Rod in it, it also stars Sonny Chiba and Meg Foster with some other recognizable faces in the supporting cast. A cop investigates the illegal kumite (yep, like Bloosport) only to find a cult that resurrects fallen warriors into invincible fighting slaves.

MST3K: The Gauntlet: Lords of the Deep (1989/2018)

"The Oscar Meyer submobile."

Dracula (1979)

I really like that one. I remember years ago I caught it on cable and it was playing later than I wanted to stay up that night, but I got so wrapped up in that I couldn't turn it off. Now, I own it (among several Draculas). Just the thought that they got Olivier to play Van Helsing!