Need Dating Advice...Help.

[Superlantern mmmm Beer! Find all posts View Profile Close Superlantern]

I wasn't asking for "a assholish answer" but thanks for getting it over with, and thanks for the advice.

That's disgusting...kinky...but disgusting.

I know you didn't acatually ask for it I mean asking for it in the that someone would see this at a opprinitiy to piss all over the thread with bullshit....

and as for a pee in her butt it was something that I used to see in comments on a metal site I would go to... if the singer or member of the band was a hot female. people would gauge her hotness by wheter they'd pee in her butt or not.


Regardless good luck I think all will go well for you.

[JohnnyV Pictionary Master Find all posts View Profile Close JohnnyV]

Having a relationship at work isn't always a bad thing. There's a married couple I work with, who actually met at work. They're still married and work together, I've witnessed very few problems.

As for the being a mother situation, that part of it is where a red flag is flown. You have to realize that she is looking for someone for different reasons than normal. Her #1 priority is her kid (hopefully), so dating for her is all about prioritizing around her needs. Which means you have to know what you're getting into there. If she's had two dates like that back-to-back, that's a tell tell sign she has a need to be with someone, or is looking for someone to support her kid along with her.

Either way, be cautious.

[havik Anti-Monitor Find all posts View Profile Close havik]

i would say take it slow and taking the small things first approach i.e going for lunch at work something as a step in the right direction as you don't want to start dating her to find out the real bad reasons why her marriage didn't work was a flaw on her part

[Godmera Champion of the World Find all posts View Profile Close Godmera]

Just ask her out. If it works out, awesome. If not, then you've lost nothing.

Thanks, but I'm not sure jumping at this is the best way of going about it.

[Godmera Champion of the World Find all posts View Profile Close Godmera]

Sounds like you're getting a lot of good advice, Godmera.

I tend to agree with Superlanter on one hand. Take it slow and see how things go outside of work.

On the other hand, I agree with Mad Dragon as well...can you believe that, M_D? . Sometimes just going for it can pay big dividends.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, and let us know how it goes.

Thanks as well.

[Godmera Champion of the World Find all posts View Profile Close Godmera]

I know you didn't acatually ask for it I mean asking for it in the that someone would see this at a opprinitiy to piss all over the thread with bullshit....

and as for a pee in her butt it was something that I used to see in comments on a metal site I would go to... if the singer or member of the band was a hot female. people would gauge her hotness by wheter they'd pee in her butt or not.


Regardless good luck I think all will go well for you.

Ok peeing in someones butt guages hotness.

[Godmera Champion of the World Find all posts View Profile Close Godmera]

Having a relationship at work isn't always a bad thing. There's a married couple I work with, who actually met at work. They're still married and work together, I've witnessed very few problems.

As for the being a mother situation, that part of it is where a red flag is flown. You have to realize that she is looking for someone for different reasons than normal. Her #1 priority is her kid (hopefully), so dating for her is all about prioritizing around her needs. Which means you have to know what you're getting into there. If she's had two dates like that back-to-back, that's a tell tell sign she has a need to be with someone, or is looking for someone to support her kid along with her.

Either way, be cautious.

Thanks, a couple of comments I'm ok with the kid part, and I don't think she is looking for someone to support her and her kid (I think she gets child support from her ex).

[Godmera Champion of the World Find all posts View Profile Close Godmera]

i would say take it slow and taking the small things first approach i.e going for lunch at work something as a step in the right direction as you don't want to start dating her to find out the real bad reasons why her marriage didn't work was a flaw on her part

Thanks for the advice. I am curious to know what happen to her marriage but I feel that can wait till later on.

[Maverick_GL Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close Maverick_GL]

:Moderator:

Dating a co-worker is a mixed bag of madness. I know, I'm currently in a relationship with a girl I work with.

Pros - it's fun to sneak around at work and grab her ass or kiss her, or flirt with her knowing later on you can act on those things. It's also nice to be able to talk to someone who understands you when it comes to my line of work (I work in a group home with high needs autistic kids), because you can't understand what it's like to work there without first hand knowledge.

Cons - Rumors are #1, especially if it's company policy not to work in the same house as a person you are dating. I'm sure nothing bad will come of it because our manager is cool, but still, that reality is there. Not only that, but I hate other people talking about my personal life. There is also the fact that you can get burned out on the person, especially if they are clingly (which mine is) - You work with someone for 8 hours, and then they want to spend the rest of the night with you - if you're anything like me, you need alone time, and 8 hours at work with someone can be enough for the day.

Then there is the eventual breakup issues, which in my case are only a matter of time. Do I leave the house? Does she? Do we go on working together even though I've broken her heart? It's a massive can of worms that I am not looking forward to.

In my case, there is a third problem as well - There is another girl there that I've had a crush on for a long time. I just found out she likes me too, possibly as much as I like her. She worked her last shift on Saturday and is now in a town an hour away. I fully intend to pursue her. However now a bunch of other shit is there too - Her and my current g/f are friends, (not great friends, but friends nonetheless), clearly the implications of g/f finding out about other girl are obvious. Worst of all is my innate paranoia - is this all just some elaborate plot to see how faithful, or how much I really care about my g/f? Am I being set up for failure? I don't think so, as I know "other girl" pretty well and don't think she'd do something like that, but the thought is there.

In my case, I'm going to jump into the deep end and see what happens. I've known since I first met my g/f that we would not end up married, while on the other hand I've known since I first met "other girl" that I would marry her if things went that way. There's only one way to find out what the future brings.


So Godmera, I don't know if this helps at all, but there it is. I can say for certainty, dating a co-worker is different than dating someone you don't work with. It's more complicated, and in my two cases (one prior, one current) - it didn't/won't work in the long run.

[Godmera Champion of the World Find all posts View Profile Close Godmera]

Wow Mav I thought I was spilling my guts...but seriously I think we are both mature enough to keep it clean at work, but I actually had a situation like your's as far as a girl flirting with me big time at work. She grabbed my butt, made an interesting comment about her boobs to me, and even suggested we could fool around well we were alone in the walk-in refrigerator. I felt like I was in a cartoon or something with the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other arguing what I should do (where the hell are they now!), it was the closest I have come to actually doing something sexual at work and I was really tempted. With all that said thanks for the advice, I know we've had are differences.

[Maverick_GL Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close Maverick_GL]

:Moderator:

I know we've had are differences.

You and I have? I can't recall any...

[Godmera Champion of the World Find all posts View Profile Close Godmera]

Update...Sort Of.

Nothing new as far as asking her out, but a few details about her since they might be helpful to the advice you guys are giving. She is 31 (I'm older then her) her son is 4. She was in a relationship for about a year which ended before she start working with me. This makes me believe her son was maybe 2 when she divorced, which could mean she had her son to try and save the marriage. She is going back to college to get her degree, which could mean she dropped out when she got married. I know I'm probably over analyzing things but I'm trying to get a read of her. Most of what I just said really doesn't matter to me, what happen, happen. I might try to pick the brain of one of my coworkers to try to find out a little more info, without being pushy. Wish me luck with that. And thanks everyone for the advice.

[Sylent_Asassin Black Lantern Find all posts View Profile Close Sylent_Asassin]

I know I'm late to the party, but I've had several relationships at work, some good, some horrible. You have to gauge if the person you're dating is mature enough to handle the watercooler gossip otherwise you'll have to try and keep it a secret, which is virtually impossible. In addition, YOU have to be mature enough to handle other guys talking to, flirting with and hitting on your lady.

When I was younger, I had a work relationship that turned out to be a disaster. She became clingly and insanely jealous and caused scenes at work when other women would speak to me. What made it even worse was I was her boss and sometimes had to make managerial decisions that she didn't approve of which spilled over into our personal lives. Even worse, we also saw each in College so I became sick to death of her in a short period of time which worsened when I became her personal limo driver. Because of her static cling, I didn't have any time to myself or to hang out with my friends. When I wanted to do something that didn't involve her, she took that as "You don't want to spend time with me" when we were together damn near 24/7. Man, I could tell you horror stories that would rock your world.

At any rate, if you pursue this relationship, tread carefully.

[Godmera Champion of the World Find all posts View Profile Close Godmera]

I know I'm late to the party, but I've had several relationships at work, some good, some horrible. You have to gauge if the person you're dating is mature enough to handle the watercooler gossip otherwise you'll have to try and keep it a secret, which is virtually impossible. In addition, YOU have to be mature enough to handle other guys talking to, flirting with and hitting on your lady.

When I was younger, I had a work relationship that turned out to be a disaster. She became clingly and insanely jealous and caused scenes at work when other women would speak to me. What made it even worse was I was her boss and sometimes had to make managerial decisions that she didn't approve of which spilled over into our personal lives. Even worse, we also saw each in College so I became sick to death of her in a short period of time which worsened when I became her personal limo driver. Because of her static cling, I didn't have any time to myself or to hang out with my friends. When I wanted to do something that didn't involve her, she took that as "You don't want to spend time with me" when we were together damn near 24/7. Man, I could tell you horror stories that would rock your world.

At any rate, if you pursue this relationship, tread carefully.

Better late then never, and thanks.

[JohnnyV Pictionary Master Find all posts View Profile Close JohnnyV]

Thanks, a couple of comments I'm ok with the kid part, and I don't think she is looking for someone to support her and her kid (I think she gets child support from her ex).

I'm not just talking about money though. I'm talking about having someone around who will be a part of her kid's life.