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Old 04-03-2016, 02:11 AM   #5501
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The Assassin (2015)


This was suggested by Netflix and I gave it a try with my dad. Wasn't worth it.

The plot is about a young woman who was sent away at a young age (to prevent her from being married off unfairly or something) and returns home under orders to execute her own cousin because her home province is rivaling the imperial court in power. She defies orders, stop other killers, a bunch of black magic happens, other stuff, whatever.

The plot is actually really confusing, and the pacing is incredibly slow. The acting is nothing noteworthy. Frankly, the only reason to watch this would be the costumes and scenery; really, the visual elements are absolutely gorgeous.

Do not recommend.
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Old 04-03-2016, 02:28 AM   #5502
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Well, it looks like I'm the only one watching movies (again) this past week, so I think I'll do a new post anyway . . .



Justice League: Throne of Atlantis (2015)

"What does a mythical, mystical, undersea world need with missiles? And I so dare you to say that five times fast."

Mercenaries (2014)

"[toasting] To nipples because without them titties would be pointless."

The Iceman (2012)

"So, is it my lucky day, or my last?"

An interesting biopic about a real-life hitman (roughly local to me) from the 70s. Captain America himself (Evans) plays another twisted killer in it.

Batman: Assault on Arkham (2014)

"I'm crazy, but that's nuts!"

Son of Batman (2014)

"Leave, harlots."


The Lone Ranger (2013)

"What's with the mask?"

At the beginning of this I was kind of digging it and figured I'd like it more than its rep, but by the end I'd have to say that it had a lot of potential and cool elements, but failed overall and was too long.

Final Girl (2015)

"That's a really big rock."

Again a movie that had some potential, but didn't pay off. It's La Femme Nikita meets The Most Dangerous Game. An orphaned girl is trained to be a killer by a mysterious man and is only given one mission we see---to take out a quartet of guys who hunt young ladies. There are some good bits and I love assassin and revenge movies, but the whole thing feels off, like the characters are in a different world.

Mr. Holmes (2015)

"There seems to be an outbreak of mortality."

Really good stuff. It's as much about the struggles of dementia as it is a Sherlock story.

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla (1974)

"Hey, on a night like this, you should talk about love."

Real Steel (2011)

"How old are you? 9? 10?
-I'm 11.
Okay... are you sure?"

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The Assassin (2015) . . . Do not recommend.
Well, looks like you spared me, because Netflix recommended it to me also and I was a bit on the fence.
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Old 04-07-2016, 09:18 PM   #5503
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Quote:
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Well, it looks like I'm the only one watching movies (again) this past week
I only watch on weekends for the most part, and this week has been really bad at work (dreading facing my one boss tomorrow, since he was closing the kitchen last night and was stuck with a busted garbage disposal that I didn't immediately report, and we're undergoing state inspection).

But I got in The Stuff (like The Blob, only edible and far more susceptible to sex jokes), so I'll make my dad watch it this weekend.
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Old 04-07-2016, 10:33 PM   #5504
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Nightcrawler (2014)

"What if my problem wasn't that I don't understand people but that I don't like them?"

Did not like.

China Strike Force (2000)

"Button up your blouse!"

Tarzan (1999)

"I'm your mother. I know everything."

Quote:
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I only watch on weekends for the most part, and this week has been really bad at work (dreading facing my one boss tomorrow, since he was closing the kitchen last night and was stuck with a busted garbage disposal that I didn't immediately report, and we're undergoing state inspection).

But I got in The Stuff (like The Blob, only edible and far more susceptible to sex jokes), so I'll make my dad watch it this weekend.
I like The Stuff. Gotta watch it again one of these days.



It certainly helps that I have no job, but I think even if I was working again I'd still watch more than 5 movies a week. I get so many in because of how I watch. When a lot of people are watching TV (prime time) or socilaizing, I'm watching a movie unless I'm busy (and I easily make up for those nights with the ones where I watch two movies). But I'm also always streaming Netflix whenever I'm doing anything that doesn't require my full attention (eating lunch, getting dressed, exercising, etc). That adds up. This week I've already finished watching 9 movies and I've started an additional 2 (one on BD and one streaming).
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Old 04-08-2016, 12:24 AM   #5505
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Well, it looks like I'm the only one watching movies (again) this past week, so I think I'll do a new post anyway . . .
May I join your little pity party, or is it "invite only"?
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Old 04-08-2016, 12:44 AM   #5506
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Raiders of the Lost Ark (1983)

"He said you were a bum.
-Aw, he's being generous."

The Prodigy (2005)

"He's a myth."

Bling Ring (2013)

"Did you speak with any of the victims?
-I've spoken with all the victims.
What did Lindsay say?!"

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May I join your little pity party, or is it "invite only"?
When I end up with the posts of 10+ movies it's like confirming in writing that I watch too many movies. When I get to space them out I feel somehow relieved and like I'm adding to the variety. I should be reading more, but alas, I am now going to go finish watching . . .

Black Mass (2015)

"A ripened psychopath determined to succeed above all else."
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Old 04-10-2016, 12:39 AM   #5507
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The Stuff (1985)

"No one is as dumb as I appear to be."

"Everyone has to eat shaving cream once in a while."

I found that particular quote funny because the brand Jason eats is the one I used to shave with, Barbasol.

Anyway, the plot involves a miner who discovers some kind of white goo bubbling out of the ground. He tastes it, loves it, and starts selling it. "The Stuff" is so addiction-inducing that it is killing off the other dessert industries, so big ice cream (yes, they're real, Edie's owns a lot of them in real life) hires Micheal Moriarty (pulling off a thick but consistent Southern accent the whole time, and the source of both quotes) to find out the secret behind The Stuff. But the more he digs, the more horrifying things get.

A good stand-in for The Blob (which itself had an '80s remake) and a good satire about consumerism, and the special effects are pretty damn solid, as are a few of the stunts. Seeing Jason go nuts in the supermarket was damn hilarious, especially when he's using the broom to knock off an entire line of Stuff, attacking several employees and shattering glass cold-storage doors. Oh, and the creative use of Barbasol, naturally.

A short watch but definitely worth it, even if the actor playing Jason's dad is not the same man as the one playing the dad in Troll 2, though they seem awfully similar.

And hey, this was released the year I was born.
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Old 04-10-2016, 02:08 AM   #5508
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Cooley High (1975)

"We were friends, a long time ago. Laughin, rappin, chasin girls, obeying no laws, except the law of caring. Basketball days and high nights, no tomorrows, unable to remember yesterday. We live for today."

Terror of Mechagodzilla (1977)

"Humans, they're so ignorant."

Tales of Terror (1962)

"Why don't you watch where I'm going, huh?"

Jungle Fever (1991)

"I was curious, so I jumped on it.
-Literally.
Yes indeedy."

Undisputed (2002)

"Someday, every fighter loses."
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Old 04-13-2016, 01:59 AM   #5509
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just got done looking at JL vs. TT................................... i liked it but would of loved to see GL in it (even if it was only a cameo )
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Old 04-13-2016, 02:14 AM   #5510
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Foxes (1980)

"Please come back here so I can beat you up!"

I'm watching this flick (I wasn't paying attention for the opening credits) and thinking "wow that one girl is totally going for the Cherie Currie (of the Runaways) look." Then I start thinking "wow, she's a dead ringer." So, I skipped to the credits and boom, it's her. I had no idea she starred in three movies before dropping off the scene for a decade plus. And she plays . . . a crazy junkie!

Harry Dean Stanton: Partly Fiction (2012)

"Just not saying anything is already a powerful statement. Silence is very powerful."

An odd sort-of biographical documentary in which the chief subject (a character actor with over 200 screen credits) isn't really willing to talk about his past and tends to give short, cryptic answers about himself, leading to a weird, postmodern mish mash of celebrity encounters and music bits.
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Old 04-14-2016, 06:23 AM   #5511
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The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)

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Old 04-14-2016, 03:32 PM   #5512
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Speed Racer (2008)

"Cool beans."

True Legend (2010)

"One life is connected to many hearts."
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Old 04-14-2016, 03:34 PM   #5513
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Quote:
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Speed Racer (2008)

"Cool beans."
I actually enjoyed that one. I recall thinking that a few instances of profanity seemed out of place (much like the one instance in the original Transformers animated film, or Data's stupid line in Generations), but all in all I found it quite fun.
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Old 04-14-2016, 04:13 PM   #5514
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War Between the Planets (1966)

"I know the score."

Police Assassins [aka Yes, Madam] (1985)

"Take no notice of my laugh, officer."

Minions (2015)

"Work for me, and all this will be yours: respect, power . . .
-Banana!"

The Phantom (1996)

"History is about to be made and you're all a part of it. Not an equal part, of course, but an important part nonetheless."

Quote:
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I actually enjoyed that one. I recall thinking that a few instances of profanity seemed out of place (much like the one instance in the original Transformers animated film, or Data's stupid line in Generations), but all in all I found it quite fun.
Yeah, it doesn't bother me personally (not a dad), but it wasn't necessary, especially since it's set in a cartoonish world and the dialogue is one step away from "gee-whizz." It probably was pushing the PG with the violence alone.

But I love this movie. I'm a fan of the anime and I love the very stylized approach they took to make it live-action.

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Old 04-16-2016, 03:24 AM   #5515
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Holy crap Jungle Book was a whole lot better than I thought it would be
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Old 04-16-2016, 03:44 PM   #5516
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Shaolin vs. the Evil Dead (2004)

"I need virgin pee."

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

"No time for love, Dr. Jones."
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Old 04-17-2016, 01:02 AM   #5517
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Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (1982)

"I hadn't seen a body put together like that since I'd solved the case of the Murdered Girl with the Big Tits."


My dad was dragged around a flea/farmer's market today and this one stall was selling all DVDs for $2. He saw a three-film Steve Martin collection and bought it immediately (has this, The Jerk, and Lonely Man). He hadn't seen this is a really long time and he didn't want to watch Pixels, and I thought this might be pretty good, so we viewed it.

It's a comedy detective noir using then-current acting mixed with archived footage from films made decades earlier and starring some big names (Burt Lancaster, James Cagney, Barbra Stanwick). This film (Plaid) is posthumously dedicated to lead wardrobe Edith Head, also.

The plot is about a woman who hires a detective (Martin) to find her father's suspected murderers. Along the way nonsense happens.

This was actually very funny, with a lot of humor stemming from cliches in the detective/mystery/noir genre. I expected to be pleasantly surprised, and I really was, especially for how tied together all the different footage was into a single, bizarrely-stable film. One of the funniest scenes is the big reveal at the end, when Martin and Reiner are competing with each other. Best recurring gag is easily the "cleaning woman" madness that Martin displays.

Highly recommend.
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Old 04-17-2016, 01:20 AM   #5518
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Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (1982)


Highly recommend.
Oh man, you got me breaking out The Jerk and Man with Two Brains again.
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Old 04-17-2016, 02:07 AM   #5519
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Martial Law (1990)

"How can you eat that?"

Invincible Shaolin (1978)

"It's men's business."

Jumper (2008)

"There are always consequences."

Undefeatable (1994)

"You have the right to remain silent, so do me a favor and shut up."

Godzilla 1985

"Run for your lives! Let's do lunch sometime!"

Double Dragon (1994)

"You're weak like your father.
-You're ugly like your mother."

Creation of the Humanoids (1962)

"I didn't like being old and dead."

This was much better than I was expecting and while not as sophisticated in its execution predates some of the deeper themes in Bladerunner.

Quote:
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My dad was dragged around a flea/farmer's market today and this one stall was selling all DVDs for $2. . .
I must have dozens of DVDs from flea market bargain bins (also library sales and pawn shops), though I find $3 price tags more common now.
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Old 04-19-2016, 11:18 PM   #5520
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So, a few things...

1.) The history student in me can't help but notice the Ghandi/British colonialism undertones in the story seeing as how Shere Khan is voiced by Brit Idris Elba.

2.) I'm kinda disappointed by Kaa's diminished role in the flick. The trailer implied that there was more than there was. There wasn't even a scene of Kaa and Shere Khan conspiring together... fo' shame.

3.) Baloo is the role that Bill Murray was born to play, and I know that probably sounds crazy, but... yeah.

4.) The whole King Louie episode was both humorous and unsettling; any SNL fan can spot a quick easter egg as the scene opens, but god damn it looks as though Walken's face was plastered onto the Orangutan model and it was creepy.

5.) The inclusion of "Bear Necessities" was nice, and the actors obviously had fun with it, but the reinterpretation of "I Wanna Be Like You" didn't do anything for me. Unfortunately, true to form, Christopher Walken Walken'd all over the song.

6.) My biggest disappoint was that they neglected to include the scene at the end of the classic animation film where Mowgli returns to the man village. Instead, he sticks around in the jungle with Bagheera, Baloo, and the wolf pack that raised him. It left the ending more open than I would've liked, but Disney is nothing if not a sequel-producing monster. Overall, though, it was a very good live-action adaptation of the flick. Would recommend.
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Old 04-19-2016, 11:50 PM   #5521
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My understanding of Kipling is that British colonialism is a recurring theme in a lot of what he wrote, so if it bleeds over (again) into this version of The Jungle Book, that's only expected.

Last live-action one they did, where Mowgli was an adult, focused very heavily on the British soldiers and how they were huge assholes to everyone.
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Old 04-19-2016, 11:59 PM   #5522
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Sherrybaby
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Old 04-20-2016, 12:22 AM   #5523
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Quote:
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My understanding of Kipling is that British colonialism is a recurring theme in a lot of what he wrote, so if it bleeds over (again) into this version of The Jungle Book, that's only expected.

Last live-action one they did, where Mowgli was an adult, focused very heavily on the British soldiers and how they were huge assholes to everyone.

Fair enough. I'd only ever seen the Disney animated feature, and I realized that after seeing this flick that I'd mostly viewed it through rose-colored glasses because the metaphor was not so heavy-handed, but it was still pretty damn obvious. Either way, I enjoyed the added layer of story and am interested to see if I can carry it over into the classic Disney flick.

Not that it isn't there, I'm sure, but I have a hard visualizing George Sanders as anything other than Batman '66 Mr. Freeze.
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Old 04-20-2016, 01:39 AM   #5524
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Been thinking of a Herc double feature for a couple weeks and finally got around to it tonight, deciding on this eclectic pairing:

Hercules (1958)

"Deceit does not go with a man of such quality."

Hercules (1997)

"Somebody call IX-I-I."
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Old 04-20-2016, 01:48 AM   #5525
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How is the '58 version? Looks old-school popcorn goodness.
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