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Old 03-05-2020, 02:45 PM   #651
Tazer
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Yo.

https://www.bigcountryhomepage.com/n...tal-2-charged/

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TikTok’s skull-breaker challenge’ lands New Jersey boy, 13, in hospital, 2 charged.



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Old 03-06-2020, 02:15 PM   #652
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A California woman cared for her 'perfect' succulent plant for two years.
Then she found out it was fake.


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Old 03-06-2020, 04:43 PM   #653
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Yo.

https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/06/us/bl...rnd/index.html

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A man filmed licking a tub of ice cream will spend 30 days in jail and pay restitution to Blue Bell
all of that just to gain notoriety for himself??






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Old 03-11-2020, 01:11 AM   #654
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So I saw on Joe Vargas's weekly news episode that this streamer was kicked off his team and is being roasted for getting very drunk while streaming and then messing around with a pistol he forgot was loaded, accidentally discharging it and blasting his mug and a monitor.

Could have accidentally shot/killed himself, his dog, or a random person nearby, so he's extremely lucky nothing like that happened. They showed the clip where he acts like a drunken gangster and part of his "I'm owning up to my mistake and deserve all the criticism" video.

As ungodly stupid as I think he was to screw up like that even without any fatalities, I give him credit for admitting he fucked up.
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Old 03-12-2020, 10:11 PM   #655
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France had to tell citizens that cocaine won't cure coronavirus
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Old 03-16-2020, 03:12 PM   #656
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Along these lines, I was surprised to find, when I was checking out at the grocery store this weekend, that The National Enquirer claims that a cure for Coronavirus has been found! Guess this will all be over soon, eh?
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Old 03-16-2020, 08:42 PM   #657
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I saw that issue as well, but since I'm still recovering from the years-old stunner of "Bigfoot marries Eight-Legged Woman!", then I declined the purchase.
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Old 03-21-2020, 12:49 AM   #658
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I want to take a moment today to mention a very particular f'in dumbass:

The reluctant zealots cropping up in all our lives.

I've been hearing a lot at work about "End of the world, all this stuff happening is in the Bible!" and it didn't get me thinking.

Yes, you read that correctly: in no way, shape, or form did I waste any effort towards this kind of rank stupidity and half-assed fearmongering.

It's "in the Bible"? So is a lot of stuff. A lot of holy books have prophecies, curses, and more besides in them. And throughout history, including within the past ~110 years, people have used either pre-existing prophecies or made their own as life changed, but always with the same goal: scare people with doomsday bullshit because they have nothing better to do and would rather stick their heads up their asses.

World War I. World War II (including the beliefs of Hitler and Mussolini being the literal incarnation(s) of the Antichrist). Y2K. The Mayan calendar running out in 2012. That one prophet who foresaw a wave of fire sweeping over the Earth, also circa 2012. Nelson Mandela being elected President of South Africa. Of course, there are far more "You're all gonna fuckin' die, you fuckin' asshole sinner motherfuckers!" scare-stories out there, but they ALL amount to the same thing.

Nothing at all.

The Mayan calendar ran out because the Spanish conquistadors wrecked their civilization, so there was no further use for it. Technology still exists, as do programs protecting it from being hacked by a single piece of malware, so Y2K never happened. Hitler ate two pills (one cyanide, one lead) and Benito...well, people expressed their dislike of him post-mortem and quite physically. Guess what? You're here today, reading this post, because all of those doomsday prophecies were false. As always.

I'm seeing a pathetic amount of individuals, ranging from people who insist they're too smart for college and from licensed nurses, insisting on how everything happening today (wildfires in Australia, tons of locusts in Africa, plague worldwide) is in the Bible and therefore we must be living in the End Times.

I don't find this constant doomsday ego-stroking to be worth anyone's time, regardless if the speaker is trying to make a joke or not (pro-tip: jokes are funny, this is just stupid). I consider it belittling to human achievement and intellect and all the knowledge and understanding we have reached to just wave your hand and say "sky daddy magic go boom" in response to a crisis.

There are actual explanations, responses, and solutions to life's problems beyond "it's God's fault" or "the Government is behind it."
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Old 03-23-2020, 12:28 AM   #659
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Agent Purple View Post
I want to take a moment today to mention a very particular f'in dumbass:

The reluctant zealots cropping up in all our lives.

I've been hearing a lot at work about "End of the world, all this stuff happening is in the Bible!" and it didn't get me thinking.

Yes, you read that correctly: in no way, shape, or form did I waste any effort towards this kind of rank stupidity and half-assed fearmongering.

It's "in the Bible"? So is a lot of stuff. A lot of holy books have prophecies, curses, and more besides in them. And throughout history, including within the past ~110 years, people have used either pre-existing prophecies or made their own as life changed, but always with the same goal: scare people with doomsday bullshit because they have nothing better to do and would rather stick their heads up their asses.

World War I. World War II (including the beliefs of Hitler and Mussolini being the literal incarnation(s) of the Antichrist). Y2K. The Mayan calendar running out in 2012. That one prophet who foresaw a wave of fire sweeping over the Earth, also circa 2012. Nelson Mandela being elected President of South Africa. Of course, there are far more "You're all gonna fuckin' die, you fuckin' asshole sinner motherfuckers!" scare-stories out there, but they ALL amount to the same thing.

Nothing at all.

The Mayan calendar ran out because the Spanish conquistadors wrecked their civilization, so there was no further use for it. Technology still exists, as do programs protecting it from being hacked by a single piece of malware, so Y2K never happened. Hitler ate two pills (one cyanide, one lead) and Benito...well, people expressed their dislike of him post-mortem and quite physically. Guess what? You're here today, reading this post, because all of those doomsday prophecies were false. As always.

I'm seeing a pathetic amount of individuals, ranging from people who insist they're too smart for college and from licensed nurses, insisting on how everything happening today (wildfires in Australia, tons of locusts in Africa, plague worldwide) is in the Bible and therefore we must be living in the End Times.

I don't find this constant doomsday ego-stroking to be worth anyone's time, regardless if the speaker is trying to make a joke or not (pro-tip: jokes are funny, this is just stupid). I consider it belittling to human achievement and intellect and all the knowledge and understanding we have reached to just wave your hand and say "sky daddy magic go boom" in response to a crisis.

There are actual explanations, responses, and solutions to life's problems beyond "it's God's fault" or "the Government is behind it."
In the Middle Ages, bubonic plague killed two-thirds of the population of the Old World. People thought Jesus was coming back any minute. But it turned out to be spread by fleas, not by big daddy in the sky. People's homes were infested by rats back then, and fleas that had bitten the rats would then bite people and infect them.
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Old 03-23-2020, 12:32 AM   #660
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Creeps like this have no trouble finding imbecilic women who are eager to reproduce with them. Meanwhile, there are plenty of nice Incels out there who would gladly support them and their offspring, and would take good care of them, but are on the semen retention program.

https://www.vcstar.com/story/news/lo...ge/2895964001/

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Old 04-02-2020, 08:48 PM   #661
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Old 04-03-2020, 12:02 PM   #662
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SMH...
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Old 04-08-2020, 08:21 PM   #663
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John De Bella was talking about today's Covidiot on the way to work. Brad Walker, mayor of a town in Illinois, made a public plea for everyone to stay inside and had authorized the police to take action as necessary, issuing citations and tickets and arrests.

Some chucklefuck had the brilliant idea to hold a 100-person party. Everyone gets busted by the cops.

Shannon Walker, the mayor's wife, is arrested at the party.

Brad's pissed and says she'll get what all the other morons will get as punishment.
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Old 04-09-2020, 03:48 AM   #664
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We might want to retire the dumbass award and declare this guy the all-time winner.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/...er/2973486001/
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Old 04-09-2020, 09:39 PM   #665
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Teen down in Texas brags online about intentionally spreading virus. Cops arrest her for terrorist threats.

Her dumbass is sitting in jail because she doesn't know anyone willing to pay the $20,000 bail.

Boo fucking hoo.
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Old 04-12-2020, 03:39 PM   #666
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Old 04-13-2020, 09:51 PM   #667
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South Lake Tahoe, CA -- idiot woman at Safeway's licked a bunch of jewelry (first I've heard of jewelry being sold at a supermarket that wasn't BJ's Wholesale Club), stashing it in her back with ~$1800 worth of shit she didn't intend to pay for. Now facing felony charge.
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Old 04-27-2020, 08:59 PM   #668
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So I needed a second bowl for my cat and Giant didn't have anything, and I swing by Concord Pet Foods.

"All customers are required to wear a mask" says the sign in the front window.

Customer inside, no mask on. Clerk inside, no mask on.

Brilliant fucking move there.

If this shit is still going on the next time I ever stop there I'm definitely taking a photo and putting it on reddit.
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Old 04-27-2020, 09:39 PM   #669
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It does seem pointless to have the sign if they aren't going to enforce it (especially if they aren't even going to enforce it for employees).
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Old 04-29-2020, 11:52 PM   #670
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Woman in DC is so paranoid about catching COVID that she refuses to let anyone else on an elevator, and pepper sprays them. Including the security guard(s).

Her brilliance cannot be overstated.
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Old 05-22-2020, 12:06 AM   #671
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Got a backlog from Tuesday, Wednesday, and today:

1) Hollywood Hills police respond to a call about a loud noise. They find a 100-plus party, but that wasn't the noise. Some idiot shot himself in the groin at the party while handling his gun.

2) Drunk woman in Florida repeatedly attempts to make out with other bar patrons and is kicked out. She calls 911 a half-dozen times to complain about how the bar isn't following social distancing rules and is subject to OSHA as a result. Operator quickly gets tired of her shit.

3) Married couple in Ohio are bagging their own groceries (state policy currently) and offer to help the old woman next to them with her bagging and escort her to her car, because she's old and could use the help and they were being courteous. As they're leaving, a Karen decides to demand where they think they're going. Wife explains she doesn't work there, they are just helping an old woman. Karen gets aggressive, demands wife stop being lazy and do her goddamn job and bag her groceries, and grabs wife's wrist.

Husband, who is a veteran, immediately turns on Drill Sergeant Mode and is shouting at the top of his lungs, "Who the fuck do you think you are!" and proceeds to lay into the Karen about putting her hands on his wife and backing the fuck off (note: Karen is extremely lucky husband didn't cave her face in with his fist). Store manager tries to throw couple out and ban them for causing a disturbance but the surrounding crowd flips its collective shit on him and, presumably, he drops a brick in his pants and backs off.

*Third one John DeBella found on Reddit but I don't have the link (it's probably on r/publicfreakouts), though I really hope there's a recording of this complete with audio.
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Old 06-30-2020, 02:05 PM   #672
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"Aw, I'm sure that nice moo-cow wouldn't hurt me."

https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/b...rnd/index.html
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