Weird News: The Florida Fail Edition

[Jeff]

Yeah, it was time for this thread to be created.



That’s what we do': Florida cops shoot and kill suicidal man after girlfriend phones for help


http://www.rawstory.com/2015/05/that...ones-for-help/

[Big Daddy Dave Skywalker]

It SO needed to be done!

[Space Cop]

Probably, but now it's getting complicated when I see a weird news item. I can't just post it, I have to think "is this just weird or is it a positive life-affirming story, or is it just cool, or does it take place in Florida?"

[Big Daddy Dave Skywalker]

Originally Posted by Space Cop

Probably, but now it's getting complicated when I see a weird news item. I can't just post it, I have to think "is this just weird or is it a positive life-affirming story, or is it just cool, or does it take place in Florida?"

Nobody can say we're not all about structure here at the GLC forums Space Cop!

[Space Cop]

Yeah and that doesn't actually bother me. I enjoy cross posting on the movie threads, for instance.
Everyone who knows me in person thinks of me as overly organized and as someone who over analyzes everything.

[Space Cop]

[Jeff]

Originally Posted by Space Cop

Probably, but now it's getting complicated when I see a weird news item. I can't just post it, I have to think "is this just weird or is it a positive life-affirming story, or is it just cool, or does it take place in Florida?"

[Jeff]

Big rig full of sharks crashes in Florida, killing one

http://www.daytondailynews.com/news/...ebook_2014_sfp


Even the Sharks aren't safe on Florida roads.

[Jeff]

[Jeff]

Flesh-Eating Bacteria Kills Two in Florida as Water Temperatures Rise

[Jeff]

This is like a Florida hall of fame post:

http://www.thegreenlanterncorps.com/...postcount=1829

[Space Cop]

Florida Man told to keep his BBQ smoke in his own yard

By Joe Ruble, PINELLAS COUNTY, Fla. —

A Florida man got a warning from Pinellas County recently because his barbecue smoke could be smelled off his residential property.

The county said 15 air-quality complaints have come in against Scotty Jordan, who uses a commercial barbecue smoker at his home.

Of those complaints, all but one has come from one neighbor.

The ordinance states that "commercial barbecue cookers are not exempt from causing a nuisance odor. If a sufficient number of complaints, representing different households, are reported and an inspector witnesses the problem, they can issue a warning letter.”

Although Jordan did not get a citation, he took a video of the encounter with county employee Joe Graham and posted it to his Facebook page.
- See more at: http://www.news965.com/news/news/wei....IczxCXxF.dpuf

[Trey Strain]

I lived in Florida for two years, and it really does seem to have a very special breed of crackers. In most states you can't get waited on if you go into a fast-food place or any sort of eatery shirtless, but in Florida it's OK. The male crackers' uniform of choice is no shirt, jeans, boots and long hair.

[Jeff]

From one bitch to another....

Florida woman took selfies during sex with dog inside grandma's house



http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crim...icle-1.2260802

A Florida woman admitted to taking selfies as she had sex with her pit bull inside her grandmother’s house, police said.
Ashley Miller, 18, was charged with two counts of sexual activities involving animals after Bradenton investigators found the graphic photos stashed on her cell phone.
The 18-year-old coaxed her dog, 2-face, into licking her vagina between 30 and 40 times over the past five years, she told police according to documents obtained by the Smoking Gun.
She also admitted to making her previous dog, a pit bull Rottweiler mix named Scarface, perform oral sex on her, too.
Miller told cops that 2-face lives at her grandmother’s house in Bradenton. Each time she wanted to have sex with the dog, she’d lock herself in a bedroom, take off her pants and call 2-face over.
The pup would “put her snout into her vagina on her own” without Miller forcing her into the act, the teen claimed. Miller said that’s where the sex ended: she never touched 2-face sexually, she said.
One of her family members was always inside the house, Miller said, but they were unaware of what was happening in the bedroom.
During at least two of the oral sex sessions, Miller snapped photos of the pup licking her vagina. Cops discovered the puppy porn in two hidden folders on Miller’s phone, one titled “2-face fun” and another titled “Me.”
While the sex had been going on for at least five years, less than 10 of the acts happened after Miller turned 18 in February, she said.
2-face showed no signs of injury when a vet checked her out. Miller is scheduled for arraignment next month.

[Big Daddy Dave Skywalker]

Ahh...it's been too long since we heard from the great state of Florida!

[Mister Ed]

Originally Posted by Jefcon 5

From one bitch to another....

Florida woman took selfies during sex with dog inside grandma's house



http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crim...icle-1.2260802

That is weird and wrong, but doesn't seem like animal abuse per se. I mean, for cryin' out loud, you often have to shove the stupid dogs' nose OUT of your crotch.

[Big Daddy Dave Skywalker]

My dogs eat cat turds.

[TazzMission]

Four Florida Students Hacked A Classmate With A Machete & Buried Him Alive Before Having Sex On The Grave


four students from Florida murdered their classmate back in June in a scheme that is simply out of fiction books.3
Desiray Strickland, 18, Christian Colon, 19, Jonathan Lucas, 18, and Kaheem Arbelo, 20, planned to kill 17-year-old Jose Amaya Guardado for two weeks before finally hacking him in the face with a machete and burying him alive in the woods.8
And as if that weren't twisted enough, Desiray and Kaheem proceeded to have sex right next to the teen's shallow grave…1
The foursome were arrested over the course of a week mid-August and confessed to the premeditated murder.



ose's brothers discovered his body three days after he went missing on June 28.1
Three of the four have been charged with first-degree murder, while Christian got second-degree murder and conspiracy charges over the killing.1
Our thoughts are with Jose's friends and family at this unimaginably difficult time.
Rest in peace, Jose.


http://perezhilton.com/2015-08-20-fl...e#.VdZ2n7JViko

[Big Daddy Dave Skywalker]

Ahh, Florida!

[Jeff]

Police Say Man With No Hands and No Legs Is Armed and On the Run

Authorities in Florida are searching for an armed quadruple amputee who's reportedly been on the run since Tuesday, hoping to question him about his involvement in a double murder.
Sean Petrozzino, 30, reportedly lost his legs, hands and parts of his arms to bacterial meningitis years ago. Police say he moved in with his parents last week after separating from his wife amidst some serious financial issues.
Both of his parents were both found dead Tuesday morning after Sean's mother, Nancy Petrozzino, failed to show up for her job as a schoolteacher.
Sean Petrozzino was last seen on an ATM surveillance camera Tuesday morning. Although police say he's currently a "person of interest" and not an official suspect in the double murder, a spokesperson did caution that he's armed with a gun.
A prosthetics expert told the Orlando Sentinel you don't need a hand to shoot both your parents—just the will—as most guns can apparently be fired by the handless, "without special devices."

http://gawker.com/man-with-no-legs-a...der-1655292448

[Jeff]

Florida man arrested for refusal to stop masturbating in a Burger King

http://crimefeed.com/2015/09/florida...refusing-stop/


You've got to click on the link and see this guy's mugshot. It is priceless.

[Jeff]

Man arrested for hiding under tables to sniff feet in Florida

http://www.wsvn.com/story/30038341/s...sted-by-police

I seriously need to get a bumper sticker that says "I <3 Floridian Criminals" or something to that effect. God love them.

[Big Daddy Dave Skywalker]

Originally Posted by MP-05

Florida man arrested for refusal to stop masturbating in a Burger King

http://crimefeed.com/2015/09/florida...refusing-stop/


You've got to click on the link and see this guy's mugshot. It is priceless.

That's one of the BEST mugshots I've ever SEEN!!!

[Big Daddy Dave Skywalker]

Originally Posted by MP-05

Man arrested for hiding under tables to sniff feet in Florida

http://www.wsvn.com/story/30038341/s...sted-by-police

I seriously need to get a bumper sticker that says "I <3 Floridian Criminals" or something to that effect. God love them.

These people exist...and they are OUT there!

[Space Cop]

Originally Posted by Big Daddy Dave Skywalker

These people exist...and they are OUT there!

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