Last film you saw, vol. 6

[Agent Purple The Illustrated Man Find all posts View Profile Close Agent Purple]

Forgot to mention, when me and dad were eating out, the restaurant was playing Popeye (the old live-action flick) on a TV. I watched probably the entire second half, from the horse-racing scene to the end. Brought back memories even though I didn't get any sound from the TV.

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Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)

"Heading, sir?
-Out there . . . thataway."

Watched it with the fam for its 40th anniversary last night. I think the film is way better than its bad rep. It's slow and has problems, but there's lots of good things and (as both my folks confirm), it must've been exciting to see the old gang back together a decade later and for the first time on a big screen. And it is cinematic, using the space (the Enterprise actually seems large on the inside, not just the outside) and special effects nicely.

[Rifftrax:] I Believe in Santa Claus [aka J'ai rencontré le Père Noël] (1984)

"A real child's actual tears---I know I'm ready for Christmas."

The Man Who Invented Christmas (2017)

"No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of another."

[Mister.Weirdo Guardian of the Universe Find all posts View Profile Close Mister.Weirdo]

One of the most entertaining films I've seen all year. I love a good mystery film, and this is no exception. It reminds me of Get Out in how straightforward it is with its premise. There are many twists and turns, and it's funny, but it's also skillfully made and wel-acted too. The cast is great from top to bottom, but I thought Ana De Armas in particular was fantastic (she's my current best actress win). I think this is a movie I'll be returning to quite frequently.

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My reviews of The Irishman and Frozen 2.

https://herecast.us/985465

https://herecast.us/985449

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Scrooge (1970)

"Remember, Scrooge, time is short, and suddenly, you're not there anymore."

Hemoglobin [aka Bleeders] (1997)

"Who says I'm a good doctor?"

Ford v Ferrari (2019)

"We're lighter, we're faster, and if that don't work, we're nastier."

Very good. Went with my stepdad, which I don't do too often without Mom too.

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Sherlock Holmes: The House of Fear (1945)

"Once a man has dipped his fingers into the blood of murder, he feels the urge to kill again."

A group of older friends receive a strange warning, five orange seeds, before they are murdered one after another. Being the only competent investigative authority on the European tectonic plate, Sherlock Holmes is beseeched for aid.

"Five Orange Pips" has long stood out to me because it's the only story where the KKK are the bad guys, and one of the only two I recall reading* where the villains escape arrest only to die during their getaway.

*I haven't read all his adventures and it's been a while since I've read him at all, so I can't remember all the details of what I did go through.

Nigel Bruce's Watson and Dennis Hoey's Lestrade were almost over-the-top in their comical antics, which serves to undermine both characters' strengths (Lestrade was never idiotic, just hidebound). Entertaining in a way though, and my dad got a laugh out of Bruce's bumbling around during the storm-at-night scene where he's shooting at phantoms.

Rathbone as usual was the highlight, although I did chuckle a bit (as did Dad) when he "uncovered" the trail of shoe prints in the mud after the dynamite explosion.

I guess it was just the upload/channel I picked on YouTube to watch this, but this time the film was subtitled, and that was a delight because the subs got a little inaccurate at times and downright hilariously vulgar in others ("fucking" and "holy shit" popped up a couple times at least).

I checked the Wikipedia page for the series and I get the feeling that while all the flicks are good, I'll probably only watch one or two more since the propaganda ones aren't of significant interest. It disappoints me that the ones with Moriarty have him working with the Nazis, because the character had so much more material to dig into that just being second-stringer to fascists.

Still, this one was worth viewing, especially the old manor house they use (great set) and its amusing history.

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Since no one else is watching movies, I had to put these out of order to spread them around. Anyway:

Bubba the Redneck Werewolf (2014)

"Those aren't even proper arm holes."

My full-moon pick of the month. The redneck jokes worked better than the werewolf ones.

[Rifftrax:] Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny (1972/2016)

"We've established that we will try to make it, won't we?"

Subjected my family to this "classic."

All Is True (2018)

"Mr. Shakespeare? I don't want to pester you.
-Good! Excellent news. Cheerio."

Good bits and worth the watch, but disappointing considering all the experience that was involved. The story is told in sharply cut little dialogue bits (though there is a main plot thread with resolution) and they seem strained to at least give a nod to every major Shakespeare controversy or conspiracy theory. Also, the discussions are way too modern at points.

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Since no one else is watching movies

Hey, my dad refuses to watch anything with Ralph Macchio in it. He practically begged me to pick another Rathbone Holmes film.

So I had to.

Sherlock Holmes: The Spider Woman (1944)

"I'm sure you were a beautiful baby, Watson."

Men are inexplicably committing suicide after going to bed, but Sherlock Holmes can't be on the case because he dies while on fishing vacation, having told his long-time comrade of a crippling ailment, which shortly afterwards claims his life.

No, wait, sorry, he faked his death so that he could put on Indian-face and lure out the woman responsible. Seriously, he poses as an Indian Army officer with a bad arm and gambling problems, following the woman's advice to pawn off his insurance policy to get some cash so that she tries to assassinate him to cash in.

The method of murder? An accomplice goes onto the rooftops of the targets' homes and puts a venomous tarantula into the air ducts. But wait, how do the damn tarantula find its prey? Because they also put a fucking pygmy into the vent with the arachnid, said pygmy being naturally immune to the venom (said venom is so painful it drives victims to suicide).

I'm not gonna lie, this was actually fairly creative, if a little overly dramatic at a couple points. Probably the most fascinating parts were when Lestrade asked if he could have a pipe to remember Holmes; and when the villainess tried to gas the heroes. The shooting gallery has some tense moments and good dialog between Lestrade and Watson (actually, Watson has some damn good lines in this film).

I am going to have to just set aside two hours and get through the original Karate Kid tomorrow afternoon, because this fucking thing has been sitting on my shelf for almost a month now and I really want to move past it on my Netflix list.

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Koyaanisqatsi (1982)


Jason Goes to Hell (1993)

"Planning on smoking a little dope, having a little premarital sex and getting slaughtered?"

My friend came over for the Friday 13th and that was his choice of Jason movie. We followed it up with a December-appropriate horror.

Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)

"Naughty this!"

...I am going to have to just set aside two hours and get through the original Karate Kid tomorrow afternoon, because this fucking thing has been sitting on my shelf for almost a month now and I really want to move past it on my Netflix list.

You mean like you've never seen it? That's a pretty big one to have missed.

[Agent Purple The Illustrated Man Find all posts View Profile Close Agent Purple]

Nope, never seen the original. I've seen maybe III, definitely saw New (with Ironside as the villain), but I just never saw the original in all my years. Every time I mention how I haven't seen any (modern) classics from the '80s, people give me shit about it, but then they also give me shit about not seeing the newest in-theater releases.

I can't get to all of them fast enough to satisfy anybody, I swear.

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A Christmas Carol (1999)

"You're another Christmas lunatic like him."

Where the Wild Things Are (2009)

"Small is good. My powers are able to slip right through the cracks.
-But what if the cracks are closed up?
Then I have a re-cracker, which goes right through that.
-But what if they have some sort of material that re-crackers can't get through?
Then I have a double re-cracker, which can get through anything in this whole universe. And that's the end, and there's nothing more powerful after that, ever. Period."

Did not like. I don't remember the book well, but this was much darker and Max (at the beginning at least) is so bratty and moody as to border on psychopathic.

Home for the Holidays (1972)

"Why, do I look not married?"

An alright TV horror movie set during Christmas. Not great, but worth the free watch on Youtube. The poster and some of the descriptions are misleading in suggesting a slasher, but it's really just a murder mystery.

...Every time I mention how I haven't seen any (modern) classics from the '80s, people give me shit about it, but then they also give me shit about not seeing the newest in-theater releases.

I can't get to all of them fast enough to satisfy anybody, I swear.

I'm more surprised than indignant, but it is hard to catch up at one movie a week. Movies are a bigger part of my life than most people. Even when I had a full-time job and less downtime, I watched a movie most nights because I prefer it to TV shows or video games even though I partake of those too (just a lot less). Now, I would consider it a "slow week" for movie watching if I only got to 8 titles.

[Agent Purple The Illustrated Man Find all posts View Profile Close Agent Purple]

So I'm watching TKK right now and Miyagi is competing with Dangerfield for best one-liners.

But now I see that Johnny was never a misunderstood character, as some people like to (satirically) claim that Daniel blew their rivalry out of proportion. Nope, dude is a hyper-possessive bully with a clear path to a prison sentence. Of course, now I'm really looking forward to watching the Cobra Kai followup, assuming it has him actually improving his life and passing on virtuous life lessons.

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They Call Me Trinity (1970)

"Swear on our old lady.
-May she become an honest woman, if I'm telling a lie."

TNT Jackson (1974)

"You want it black? You got it black."

Powaqqatsi (1988)

So I'm watching TKK right now and Miyagi is competing with Dangerfield for best one-liners.

But now I see that Johnny was never a misunderstood character, as some people like to (satirically) claim that Daniel blew their rivalry out of proportion. Nope, dude is a hyper-possessive bully with a clear path to a prison sentence. Of course, now I'm really looking forward to watching the Cobra Kai followup, assuming it has him actually improving his life and passing on virtuous life lessons.

I agree. I've heard that argument online and in a convention (though that was from Zabka himself), but if anyway actually brought that up to me in a conversation, I'd have to point out that the argument only works if you believe that men own women and karate is primarily for violent dominance. However, I'm pretty most people are joking about it.

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The Karate Kid (1984)

"Man who catches fly with chopsticks can accomplish anything."

So I have never seen the entire film before last night. I am fairly certain I've seen clips here and there over the years, knew the general story, but never actually watched the thing.

This thing is pure '80s. I don't just mean because it came out then, I mean it embodies and exemplifies basically everything that we know and love from back then, particularly in its cinematic styles (except for the horror film effects, none of those are here). Actually, wait, no, it doesn't have the New Best Friend for more than five minutes in the beginning. Seriously, why isn't Freddy Fernandez in any scenes after the beach fight? It's a total missed opportunity.

What we DO get is the fish-out-of-water tale of a teen boy from NEWARK, NEW JOYZEE!!! (It used to be a US state, goddamn it!) as he arrives in California via lengthy driving in his mother's irreparably-broken station wagon (seriously, even with her great new job, how does she not get a better car, or get that junker repaired?). He gets settled into his new home fairly easily and what's that, he even meets a cute girl?

Tough shit, buddy, she has this possessive dickhead ex-boyfriend who isn't willing to drop the obviously-dead relationship. I mean, his buddies are at least half-sensible and can see he should just move on (more on their overflowing intellect later). Well, after Danny's face it reformatted via Computer Repair Method #1, he decides to rekindle his martial arts prowess...only to discover McDickhead is the top student at Captain Psychopath's Dojo for Future Wife Beaters.

After being run off a small cliff and being made to resemble a pre-cooked Porterhouse for a second time, Daniel finally gets a big break when resident repairman Miyagi takes him under his wing, and later saves his ass from a five-to-one beatdown (even though Daniel was blatantly the bad guy in that situation, because that fight never would have happened if he hadn't hosed Johnny in the bathroom; dude was minding his own damn business).

So from there we get the throwing down of the gauntlet when Miyagi insists the boys fight properly in the big local tournament of knuckledusting. I have to say, Kreese (Johnny's instructor, the Cobra Kai madman himself) is both a real piece of work and a totally cut-and-dry villain. We get a glimpse of his military background when Daniel enters the dojo, but other than that we have very little on the man, whether or not he was ever half-decent or if he was always destroy-all-enemies. Right from the moment we hear his voice ("Fear does not exist in this dojo! Pain does not exist in this dojo!") he's blatantly a twisted bastard and his students are probably all thugs. Guy clearly has a tight leash on them when interacting with Miyagi (I did like his "You're a pushy bastard, but I like that" remark, almost shows he's willing to respect people who don't flex on their demands). But then we see his students, both Bobby and Johnny, genuinely seem to fear him when he cranks the must-win-at-any-cost dial to eleven.

I have to give it to the Bobby character, he was seriously worried about playing fair and not being a cheating little shit. I mean, even when he actually did it, he immediately told Daniel he was sorry and that it wasn't his choice to hurt him like that. Dude has post-film potential to turn his life around and even become an erstwhile ally (I haven't seen 2 ever and only saw parts of 3 a very long time ago, and haven't watched Cobra Kai yet because of this, so I don't know if they tie Bobby back in, if not then should/should have).

Daniel himself is a mixed bag. He's every teen boy with a smart mouth on him (both good and bad trait to have), and you really do connect with him at times, both his highs and lows, and while it's easy to root for the underdog he also comes across as pushy and impatient, and more than a little bit ignorant. He agrees to take any orders from Miyagi, but doesn't seem to catch onto the fact that everything Miyagi has him do serves a dual purpose: Miyagi is an older man who might not have the easiest time doing something himself, so consider doing it to save him the trouble; and the hard work will put his body into better shape to be able to last through an entire tournament. You'd think that, having had previous karate experience, Daniel would be familiar with at least some of this, but I guess the book he read was not written well enough for his benefit. Or he skipped some chapters, hell if I know.

Ali is a good supporting character. Pretty girl that he can't have because she's well off, and she's also got a jealous ex. I do have to credit that restaurant scene where Johnny actually seems to want to get along with her again and doesn't just fly off the handle, it actually shows a really good side of him (brief, but gives a spark of hope that he isn't as much of a train wreck as his master).

We get some really good material during the training: not just the montage, but those gorgeous classic cars, Miyagi having a pretty nice house, some laughs and cool moves, that ABSOLUTELY FUCKING BEAUTIFUL scene where Daniel is standing on the boat and the sun is reflecting on the thousands of mini-waves.

I didn't entirely like that tournament. You get some very clever, well-thought-out stuff (Miyagi correcting the spelling of his name was a great touch, the event staffer being falsely complimented was funny but also oddly positive), but for The Big Event, neither Daniel nor anybody seemed to bother to actually learn details of the event or how participants are expected to behave/perform. He falls ass-first into the whole thing even though Miyagi got Kreese to agree to laying off harassing him until then. It really only serves to undermine Daniel's character, and I wish they had not made him seem to damn oblivious.

The tournament overall was a good showcasing of young talent. The big finish, with Daniel talking Miyagi into helping him walk again so he can hop-fight Johnny, was moving, and I swear I heard Johnny say as the film's final line "You're all right, LaRusso." But then I checked the third film's description and remembered that Johnny is borderline homicidal again (he does try to knock Daniel off a fucking real cliff this time). Well, hopefully he turns his shit around at the end of that film because I guess the writer(s) didn't want him to get his life together at the end of the original; what a shame because Miyagi had predicted that even if Daniel lost, his fight against them would earn their respect, which it did.

Two other things I really appreciated were the exploration of Miyagi's background as a World War II veteran; and the utterly gorgeous bonsai tree emblem he sews onto Daniel's gi. Shit, I need a bonsai tree T-shirt now, so I guess that's yet another eBay purchase.

I was going to hit up Netflix for 2 and 3, but they only have 2, and 3/4 are bundled and that bundle is not available; looks like eBay on the cheap for me here because I enjoyed this first entry and I have good memories of 4 (seriously, Ironside was a well-written villain and we get that great moment between him and Miyagi talking about the bull).

I dunno why my dad seems to have a blood vendetta against Ralph Macchio, because he insisted on watching another Rathbone Holmes flick instead of this, so I would end up watching the other films alone anyway. Oh well.

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Naqoyqatsi (2002)


I think I appreciated this more in the re-watching, but still find it the weakest of the Qatsi trilogy. Should finish the special features to the Criterion blu ray set today.

Gremlins (1984)

"Get Out Of My Kitchen!"

The Karate Kid (1984) ...Daniel himself is a mixed bag. He's every teen boy with a smart mouth on him (both good and bad trait to have), and you really do connect with him at times, both his highs and lows, and while it's easy to root for the underdog he also comes across as pushy and impatient, and more than a little bit ignorant. . .

In the commentary Macchio and Morita both acknowledge that Daniel is an instigator. He doesn't start all the trouble, but he also doesn't let it go. I think those aspects (like the overreaction to his first date) actually add to the film. Daniel is a fairly real (80s) teen, not a perfect hero who always takes the high road. And, yeah, he's pretty thick-headed in the training and after he specifically vows to follow all of Miyagi's instructions.