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Old 11-14-2018, 09:51 PM   #7476
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The Comancheros (1961)

"How do you know you killed him?
-There wasn't time not to!"

MST3K: Horrors of Spider Island (1960/1999)

"If you're in a plane crash and you're a girl, you instantly become helpless and sex hungered, and you murmer a lot?"

Truth or Dare (2018)

Go ahead, I dare you."

Troll 2 (1990)

"If my father discovers you here, he'd cut off your little nuts and eat them."

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Man I didn't know they tried passing off a movie as Troll 3. Kind of sounds like a CHUD 2 situation where they replaced actual CHUDs with plain old zombies for some reason, but hey its got a fun "Bud the CHUD" theme song going on.
Actually, there's two. Check Rolfe's video for details. They have no connection except I guess a producer had the rights (maybe) to use the name. I don't think either was commonly distributed with that name, but it was used at some point. Actually, Bud the Chud is better than this movie was and I wouldn't say I'm a huge fan of that though it had good parts.

+ YouTube Video
ERROR: If you can see this, then YouTube is down or you don't have Flash installed.
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Old 11-15-2018, 12:21 PM   #7477
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Wow, when a movie can't pass the cinematic bar set by Bud the Chud, standards are low.
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Old 11-18-2018, 12:13 AM   #7478
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X-Men (2000)

"Well, it certainly is a big, round room."

X-Men 2 (2003)

"Got any beer?
-This is a school.
So that's a no?"

Okay, so I don't think I'll list this as my favorite comic book movie anymore, but it still has some really good bits and it probably still has my favorite opening of a comic book movie.

[Rifftrax] X-Men: The Last Stand (2006/2011)

"Turn around.
-Every now and then I get a little bit worried that I'll kill you with my laser-beam eyes."

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

"I'm not afraid to die.
-How would you know? You've never tried it."

Still in the mood to honor Stan the Man.

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Wow, when a movie can't pass the cinematic bar set by Bud the Chud, standards are low.
Ha. Quite true.
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Old 11-18-2018, 02:43 AM   #7479
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Garden State (2004)

"We're a Thai restaurant. We just don't have bread."

Emotionally-detached young man Andrew Largeman (writer-director Zach Braff) returns home for his mother's funeral, and runs into old friends and a whimsical young woman named Sam (Natalie Portman), who makes him question himself enough to truly change.

I can't say this is a bad film, because it really isn't. It isn't poorly written, acted, or directed, and personally I think the beginning is great, with this cabin shot of a plane as it's crashing, everyone losing their shit except for this strangely calm guy who just turns on the air nozzle. It's so surreal that I can't help but love it.

But other than that it is an oddly vacant film. I mean, I suppose it well and truly reflects the emotional detachment of the main character, but I swear it never feels like there's any gravity to the scenes. Braff just largely goes place to place and encounters people he used to know, who have these weird dumb lives now, but the only one that actually comes off as somewhat interesting is the gravedigger (the rich guy, on the other hand, is incredibly shallow). Even the confrontation with his father is underwhelming.

I don't know what to say. It isn't a bad film, not exactly, but damn if it isn't just scene after scene without significant driving force. Not boring, but somehow not engaging.

Actually, now that I think about it, the story of how I got this film is a lot more interesting than the film itself. When Hulk Hogan was kicked from the WWE, I decided it was time I finally snag at least Suburban Commando, because I loved that as a kid and didn't own it. I found a two-in-one DVD of SC and Mr. Nanny on eBay, ordered it, but the seller sent Garden State by mistake. I contacted them and they apologized and said to keep it, what I wanted was out of stock, refunded my payment, and I had to buy the films from another vendor. This film has sat on a shelf for that long, only watched now because I didn't want to force my dad to see Alien: Covenant or Ghost Rider. Guess I've got to find a way to sell it, because this isn't worth owning (even if Danny DeVito helped produce it).
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Old 11-18-2018, 03:26 AM   #7480
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Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (2016)

"Who the hell are you?
-The guy you didn't count on."

Quest for the Mighty Sword (1990)
[aka Ator 3, aka Ator 4, aka Hobgoblin, aka Troll 3]

"Well, where are you going?
-To the East.
Why?
-Back ... to find the path back ... to the middle ... world."

And the other Troll 3 . . . is an alright low-budget sorcery movie (that happened to use the goblin costumes from Troll 2).

It Was Fifty Years Ago Today: The Beatles: Sgt. Pepper & Beyond (2017)

"You mention Beatles and it's euphoria. That's the legacy they've left."

The most impressive thing about this documentary is that the filmmakers managed to do this fiftieth retrospective on the album without any Beatles' approval or music. But that's also it's greatest weakness since it relies on more peripheral people and side stories (lots of focus on the Jesus statement and the meditation and such), many of which are well known. So, I'm not quite decided whether when these guys heard they couldn't get permission they were bold to continue or stupid.

[The Beatles'] Help! (1965)

"I should've been a vivisectionist."

I think I watched this this year, but I worked myself in a Beatles mood again waiting for my new anniversary set and I could fit this movie in before bed.



Quote:
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Garden State (2004) . . . I can't say this is a bad film, because it really isn't. It isn't poorly written, acted, or directed...
I saw that at a school film festival. I remember thinking that the crappy melodrama of Star Wars III wasn't Portman's fault because she did some nice dramatic work in this (and later in V for Vendetta and Black Swan etc.).

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When Hulk Hogan was kicked from the WWE, I decided it was time I finally snag at least Suburban Commando, because I loved that as a kid and didn't own it. I found a two-in-one DVD of SC and Mr. Nanny on eBay, ordered it, but the seller sent Garden State by mistake. I contacted them and they apologized and said to keep it, what I wanted was out of stock...
I've had that happen a couple times through Amazon or eBay.
BTW: Hogan was reinstated in the Hall of Fame.
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Old 11-18-2018, 03:53 AM   #7481
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I saw that at a school film festival. I remember thinking that the crappy melodrama of Star Wars III wasn't Portman's fault because she did some nice dramatic work in this (and later in V for Vendetta and Black Swan etc.).
Oh, it was definitely Braff's lackluster writing that killed the drama potential. Portman is weird because her character is weird, but she isn't bad in this.

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BTW: Hogan was reinstated in the Hall of Fame.
I know. Heard about it when it happened recently. So long as he rises above that low point, I'll be happy for him.
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Old 11-21-2018, 02:46 PM   #7482
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Smokin' Aces 2: Assassins Ball (2010)

"Hip-hop is the unwanted bastard son of superior musical forms like jazz, blues."

Flatliners (1990)

"Everything we do matters."

Song of the South (1946)

"The weather's good; the fishin's fine. Now, what do you do with all your time?
-Oh, I zigs and I zags, I tos and I fros. That's what you ask me and that's what you know."

It Lives Again (1978)

"You could call it a case of temporary insanity."
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Old 11-21-2018, 04:14 PM   #7483
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You know what, I think I've actually seen that movie "Quest for the Mighty Sword" aka TROLL 3. You ever have one of those flashbacks where you can kind of pick out images or scenes from a movie from you childhood with no context to what it's from? I think that's it...I'll have to seek it out on youtube or something. Thanks! I am always searching for entertaining trash.
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Old 11-21-2018, 04:19 PM   #7484
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Miracle on 34th Street (1947)

"But maybe he's only a little crazy like painters or composers or some of those men in Washington."

X-Men: First Class (2011)

"Are you sure we can't shave your head?"

The Best Offer (2013)

"When simulating another's work the forger can't resist the temptation to put in something of himself."

Very good. About a top, no-nonsense auctioneer who becomes obsessed with an extreme recluse heiress.

Frankenstein Island (1981)

"The backup brain was hidden years ago, just in case!"

Painfully bad and nearly incoherent.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BLACK HAND View Post
You know what, I think I've actually seen that movie "Quest for the Mighty Sword" aka TROLL 3. You ever have one of those flashbacks where you can kind of pick out images or scenes from a movie from you childhood with no context to what it's from? I think that's it...I'll have to seek it out on youtube or something. Thanks! I am always searching for entertaining trash.
There's a clip of him fighting the double guardian (which is built up in dialogue beforehand) on Youtube that could refresh your memory if you have seen it:

+ YouTube Video
ERROR: If you can see this, then YouTube is down or you don't have Flash installed.
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Old 11-21-2018, 05:45 PM   #7485
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I'll definitely have to check that out when I get home for Turkey splurge. Other movies on my watch list this week...Blood Rage and Blood Freak, then Creed II on Saturday.
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Old 11-24-2018, 05:33 PM   #7486
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Masterminds (2016)

"Please don't shoot. I've got kids.
-Yeah? Do your kids know that you're a lying, cheating sack of filth?
I just haven't found the right moment to tell them."

The Champ (1931)

"The Champ and I ain't fixed up swell as this, but our joint's more lively."

A very nice flick about a former champion boxer (Wallace Beery), who is hampered in his attempts at a comeback by addiction to alcohol and gambling. When the mother (Irene Rich) of the son (Jackie Cooper) that lives with him pops up, he debates where the boy would be better off. As with other real early talkies, the acting is broad and the plot is not subtle, but it was still touching and worth a watch.

My Mom's a Werewolf (1989)

"I'm having a nightmare. Can I call you back?"

My werewolf pick for this month's full moon. I picked this because it was on Youtube and I could watch it while doing other stuff, but I forgot that I had seen it some time ago (and honestly, it's probably not funny enough to re-watch).

Wolverine (2013)

"How did you know there's a pool down there?
-I didn't."
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Old 11-25-2018, 03:28 AM   #7487
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Ghost Rider (2007)

"No soul to burn!"

I'm not especially familiar with the GR comics, never read them as a kid and only started with Road to Damnation when Ennis penned that, but I'm passingly familiar with Mephisto and his son, Blackheart, and I got this on Blu-ray for free, so I gave it a go tonight at my dad's (his 66th birthday was this past Thursday, so I also took his gifts down; he liked them and actually surprised me by having a Balrog mini-bust I'd given him years ago sitting out all lit up, I'd actually forgotten I ever gave it to him).

Anyway, the film. I remember when it came out that I felt it should just have been more heavily into the horror genre with a mild mix of superheroism, but I suppose we get almost the right balance here so it doesn't entirely matter. My dad was amused at the Evel Knievel imitation (he told me about how EK actually wanted his suit as white as Elvis's), but while it was kind of fun to see, I thought it went just a bit over-the-top.

I did like seeing the relationship between Barton Blaze (Brett Cullen) and Young Johnny (Matt Long). I liked the detail of the air turning freezing cold when a powerful demon is nearby, though having the lights burst felt a little unnecessary (having them dim, maybe, but not explode). Peter Fonda wasn't bad as Mephisto (dunno why he's called by his full name from Faustus here, Marvel's always kept the shorter version as far back as I can remember), but maybe could have used a little more of a "cultured" style and changed his dress to fit each time period (such as a ritzy business suit for modern times).

Blackheart (Wes Bentley) was shit in this film. He looked like Edward Cullen from Twilight tried to dress up and forgot his taste, and the gang of elemental exiled angels tagging along with him weren't much better (though seeing Rider take them out in different ways was good, and my dad and I both got a laugh out of him being hit by the truck the first fight).

A couple of things that really irritated me while watching the film: the "toothy" and "warped voice" demon touches that films keep having. It's profoundly annoying to try and listen to someone talking with two or three different voices mixed together to make them sound supernatural, and warping their faces to make them have no lips and just hundreds of ugly chompers is just shallow character aesthetic.

I could have sworn the mugger Rider gives the Penance Stare to was Ben Foster (Spacker Dave from The Punisher, 2004), but it's a lookalike of his, Peter Barry. Oh well.

The final fight was mixed for me. On the one hand, it makes sense for Blackheart to be crippled by the sudden weight of punishment for all those sins, which he's never had to experience before and thus is unprepared to counter, but on the other hand, it feels like things went cheap and we didn't get to see a huge fight between Hell's bounty hunter and a jumped-up brat on a serious power trip (I think they were running low on money after all the shit we got earlier in the film). Oh, and my dad was amused at the toasted lizard and the jungle sounds in the fucking desert. Smooth move, studio.

The cops were annoying. That interrogation scene was worse than most of the Law & Order schlock. If one of the biggest celebrities in the country got tossed in a holding cell with a bunch of low-level offenders, I'm pretty sure half of them would want his autograph, and I know most of them would be freaking out at him acting like he's spazzing on drugs. But hey, at least my dad got a chuckle out of Rider's jawbone being knocked loose.

I didn't really get into the love story. I don't think it was badly written, if anything it was one of the better elements in the film, but everything else was kind of overshadowing it for me. Eva Mendes was herself fine.

Overall a decent flick, if visibly flawed. Guess I'll have to rent the sequel now.
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Old 11-25-2018, 04:35 AM   #7488
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X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

"I rigged up this communications device to allow us to see all the networks America is airing!
-Wow, all three networks.
And PBS!"

X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)

"Well, at least we can all agree the third one's always the worst."

For some reason I liked his more on the second viewing.

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Ghost Rider (2007) ...
Saw that one in theaters with my mother because she digs ghosty-demony things.

Quote:
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...Blackheart (Wes Bentley) was shit in this film. He looked like Edward Cullen from Twilight tried to dress up and forgot his taste . . .
Yeah, like Edward EMOed up.

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. . . On the one hand, it makes sense for Blackheart to be crippled by the sudden weight of punishment for all those sins, which he's never had to experience before and thus is unprepared to counter, but on the other hand, it feels like things went cheap and we didn't get to see a huge fight between Hell's bounty hunter and a jumped-up brat on a serious power trip (I think they were running low on money after all the shit we got earlier in the film). . . Overall a decent flick, if visibly flawed. Guess I'll have to rent the sequel now.
If you think the first was kind of cheap and sometimes weak, rest assured, it's like gold compared to GR:SoV and it's all-Eastern-European cheapness.
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Old 11-25-2018, 04:42 AM   #7489
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...I think I might just take SOV off my list, then. I can only tolerate so much cheapness.
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Old 11-25-2018, 12:27 PM   #7490
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HWY: An American Pastoral (1969)

"They were just little screaming, creamy creeps in the face of reality and they didn't know what was happening anymore than I did. That was the first time I tasted fear."

Paul Ferrara's (photographer and Doors collaborator) semi-feature (51 mins) that follows Jim Morrison hitchhiking from the dessert back to LA. Mostly interesting for Doors/Morrison fans or people interested in 60s art-house stuff.

The Mortal Storm (1940)

"I've never prized safety, Erich, either for myself or my children. I prized courage."

A story of normal people dealing with the rise of the Nazis (starting in '33) in the German Alps. Very good. And brave of WB to do before Pearl Harbor.
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Old 11-25-2018, 11:43 PM   #7491
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Saw Fantastic Beasts 2 over the weekend. My review.

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Old 11-26-2018, 02:36 AM   #7492
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Traded (2016)

"Nothing, and I mean nothing in the whole world, is more important than family."

Pretty by-the-book revenge/rescue western with Michael Pare playing the former gunslinger who must pick up his old habits to save his daughter kidnapped into sex slavery.

Tomb Raider (2018)

"Death is not an adventure!"

Ugh. I was hoping it would be one of those cases where the negative publicity was overhyped, but this was just mostly boring and felt so unlike The spirit of the character. Admittedly, I'm not a huge fan of the franchise (so maybe one of the several games I missed reflects this story), but who greenlit a Tomb Raider where Lara Croft would spend 99% of it with no money, no higher education, no guns, and no interest in archaeology?
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Old 11-26-2018, 05:14 AM   #7493
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*batteries not included (1987)

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Old 11-26-2018, 01:55 PM   #7494
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The Crimson Wing: Mystery of the Flamingo (2008)

"They are the children of the lake."

Pretty good Disney nature documentary on the lesser flamingos of Lake Natron (Africa).

Night Feeders (2006)

"Umm, umm. Pull my teeth and call me gummy."

Smallish nocturnal killer aliens land in redneck territory.
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Old 11-26-2018, 11:01 PM   #7495
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My review of Ralph Breaks The Internet.

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Old 11-26-2018, 11:41 PM   #7496
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Iron Man 2 (2010)

"My bond is with the people, and I will serve this great nation at the pleasure of myself. If there's one thing I've proven it's that you can count on me to pleasure myself."

MST3K: The Gauntlet: Mac and Me (1988/2018)

"The movie that turns ET into BS."
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Old 11-27-2018, 06:36 PM   #7497
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Haha I want to watch the MST3000 Gauntlet! And I have My Mom is a Werewolf on VHS.
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Old 11-29-2018, 12:09 AM   #7498
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Gallowwalkers (2012)

"You never forget the man who kills you the first time."

Meh. Weird and not particularly good.

Savage Sisters (1974)

"If anything happens to him, you can squat on your revolution."

MST3K: The Gauntlet: Atlantic Rim (2013/2018)

"Go go dour rangers."

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Haha I want to watch the MST3000 Gauntlet!
I briefly considered doing it the way it was "intended": an 8-hour binge, but that's a bit much even for me (or at least it would take me a while before I found an appropriate day for that). Plus, they actually have them as six separate movies/episodes, anyway. In one of the supplements they say the Gauntlet was basically a gag on how people binge on Netflix and a way to do a shorter season.

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And I have My Mom is a Werewolf on VHS.
I guess it's really not that bad, but it feels like a much weaker, werewolf version of Fright Night.
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Old 11-29-2018, 05:48 AM   #7499
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Dracula (1979)

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Old 11-29-2018, 08:26 PM   #7500
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Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)

"105 years and he still doesn't know my name."

Immortal Combat [aka Resort to Kill] (1994)

"I love you, but I am a warrior."

Better than I was expected, but still a mid-level 90s actioner. Besides having the Hot Rod in it, it also stars Sonny Chiba and Meg Foster with some other recognizable faces in the supporting cast. A cop investigates the illegal kumite (yep, like Bloosport) only to find a cult that resurrects fallen warriors into invincible fighting slaves.

MST3K: The Gauntlet: Lords of the Deep (1989/2018)

"The Oscar Meyer submobile."

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Dracula (1979)
I really like that one. I remember years ago I caught it on cable and it was playing later than I wanted to stay up that night, but I got so wrapped up in that I couldn't turn it off. Now, I own it (among several Draculas). Just the thought that they got Olivier to play Van Helsing!
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