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Hitchhiking on the Road to Wrestlemania

Posted 02-25-2012 at 07:50 AM by threehgame

Irritated by comics of late I have decided to use this blog-space to discuss my other hobbies, and as the G.I. Joe collector's club credit card crisis has been beaten like a dead DeWitt I will speak of WrestleMania.

Despite the clever marketing campaign, I always felt the road to WrestleMania always began after the PPV following the Royal Rumble. The feuds and story lines leading into Mania are always cemented and the heat begins to build faster.

The first stop on the trip to Miami was Monday's Raw. The show started with the first of the 3 major issues that needed to dealt with, that being John Cena. Of course Cena's first attempt at a promo ended with him creating a word which by the end of the decade will likely end up in a dictionary and be plastered on Zack Ryder's next 10 t-shirts (really who can’t see him wheeling out to help Cena next week in his neck brace and wheel-chair adorned in a Borski’s before Hoski’s shirt). Cena's next attempt yielded Cena returning to his thug character to cut the same promo on the Rock he has used for the past year. Unless the Rock delivers something amazing next week, this build could be the weakest o of the major announced matches.

The second major event from Raw was not Triple H finally accepting Undertaker's challenge, or the Undertaker going another week hiding his cue-ball head. It was the way the fans turned on Taker. It could simply be the fans were drunk and lacked respect as some angry fans have said online, or it could be they were just tired of the Undertaker and his streak. The WWE pushed this younger image and the new breed of champions at the end of 2011. Perhaps the fans found the feud boring and Takers overly slow and redundant promo to be pointless. The boos and smart-assed remarks could have been an isolated indecent, and the WWE better hope they are, otherwise we could see the fans turn on Taker like they did on Cena 6 years ago.

The last feud set up was the Best-in-the-World saga between Punk and Jericho. The match used to cement this match was of course a disaster. The problem was simply the 10 men in the battle royal had been in the Elimination Chamber and were in no shape for the match. Kingston and Truth were in the ring for a second time that night, which explained the obvious fatigue Truth showed and Kingston had staples in his scalp. Cody Rhodes' leg injury was legit judging by the way he slipped and fell on his ass as he threw that kick. Then came the spot that became the lingering image of the entire broadcast. The tired Truth and sore Wade Barrett attempt to catch Ziggler as Big Show over throws him. Ziggler lands hard on the announce table, which he sells as a legit knockout, while Wade flails about on the floor swearing. The announce crew who are being thrown off by CM Punk's amusing but discombobulating brand of commentary ask for medical attention for Ziggler who is at this point hanging on the table by his chin staring them in the eye while the ringside crew are trying to get Wade to stop moving. Oh yeah, there is still a match going on but who cares as the announcers are legit worried about the guys laying in-front of them and most of the audience knows Jericho is going to win. To add insult to injury Santino is eliminated onto Wade's injured arm, and reminds the viewers at home he is still being tended to at ringside.

Luckily Barrett just suffered a dislocated elbow, Jericho won and Punk is a wrestler, not a commentator. The night set 3 matches into action, Cena/Rock, HHH/Undertaker and Punk/Jericho. Now let’s hope Smackdown! adds another layer to Wrestlemania on Frida.....on Tuesday night. I prefer my Smackdown! pre-taped and heavily edited so a live Tuesday edition could provide the shock value of a celebrity appearance or a train-wreck.

From Smackdown! (yes I will always add the exclamation point for little reason other than the deep down feeling you get to scream the name of the show in excitement each time you read its name) we got another Sheamus squash match as he readies for Bryan, the continuing feud between General managers who for some reason insist on using C-level talent to prove they are the best instead of having their champions fight….oh wait they did that only with each show’s General manager cheering on the opposing show’s champion. Here is a simple question, how does Johnny Ace have any authority on Smackdown! To restart a match? Don’t throw out the idea that his champion was in the match as by letting his wrestler compete on Smackdown! Would let that wrestler fall under the authority of Smackdown! GM Teddy Long. Besides that little nit-pick here is a real big question for you, if Punk cannot beat Bryan how can he and Jericho battle over who is the best wrestler in the world?

Besides creating a lingering issue over the Punk/Jericho feud and creating the Long/Ace feud Smackdown! gave us a recap of the Continuing Wrestlemania Humiliation of Paul Wight Jr. I had forgotten about the cellulite on his ass but thanks to Cody Rhodes I got to remember…..

Well I fit seven Smackdown!s into this inaugural blog and maybe someday I will top it. Maybe someday I will add a picture of Show’s cellulite to the blog. Maybe someday I’ll actually write another of these on such diverse topics such as Payton Manning’s Neck, a trip to Wal-Mart or porn (therein being a PG-13 version since I do not wish to banned or get the forum shut down).
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