THE JOKE THREAD!

[Fearless Agent Orange Find all posts View Profile Close Fearless]

A young guy from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a big everything-under-one-roof department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?”

The kid says “Yeah. I was a salesman back in Minnesota “

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. “You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did.”

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the boss came down. “How many customers bought something from you today?”

The kid says, “One.”

The boss says, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?'”

The kid says, “$101,237.65.”

The boss says, “$101,237.65? What in the world did you sell?” The kid says, 'First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition.'

The boss said 'A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?'






The kid said 'No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing!'

LOL

Hey, should this this still be called the BAD Joke Thread, or can we change it to just the JOKE Thread?

[Mrt1000son Dark Lord of the Sith Find all posts View Profile Close Mrt1000son]

-Scientology: One mans bar bet that got WAY out of hand

-You know you've got a problem when every letter of the alphabet triggers a porn bonanza in your address bar.

-Kate Moss and jeremy clarkson are at a celebrity do. She says "I'm a model, what do you do?" He replies "I do Top Gear."

She said "Wicked! I'll have an eighth."

-I don't get American action films. you see people like Rambo and chuck norris going into battle on their own and winning against massive armies, yet america sent a whole army over to Vietnam and lost.

-What's the differance getween Bigfoot and a competant 2012 candidate for the Republicans?

People have actually captured Bigfoot on tape

[Fearless Agent Orange Find all posts View Profile Close Fearless]

lol, I like that Bigfoot one.

[Fearless Agent Orange Find all posts View Profile Close Fearless]

Mockey Mouse and Minnie Mouse have decided to get a divorce. So, they eventually find their way into court. The judge looks over their file, then turns to Mickey.

"So, Mickey Mouse, you want to divorce your wife?"

"Yes, your honor."

"And you wish to do this because..." The judge glances down at the document again, "...because your wife is losing her mind." The Judge says.

"I didn't say she was losing her mind, your honor; I said she was Fucking Goofy."

--

Cinderella wants to go to the Ball. So, her Fairy Godmother arrives and allows her to go to the ball- under 2 conditions:

1. She agrees to wear a diaphragm, and 2. She be home by 2 A.M.

"If you are not home by 2 A.M., your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees, and leaves for the Ball. The next morning, Cinderella arrives home at 5 A.M. The Fairy Godmother, who stayed up waiting for her, approaches her.

"What happened?! You were supposed to be home by 2 A.M. Your diaphragm should have turned into a pumpkin!" Cinderella smiles, and responds.

"Oh, no. I found a nice Prince who took care of it." The Fairy Godmother becomes confused.

"What do you mean? There's no Prince in the whole land!"

"Really?" Cinderella asks.

"Yes!" The Fairy Godmother says, "What was his name?" She asks.

"Oh, I forget..." Cinderella says, thinking, "Peter Peter Something..."

[myuserid Lantern Hex Find all posts View Profile Close myuserid]

The Cinderella one was hilarious.

[Fearless Agent Orange Find all posts View Profile Close Fearless]

It's a little old school, but still funny.

[W.West Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close W.West]

I don't get it.

[myuserid Lantern Hex Find all posts View Profile Close myuserid]

I don't get it.

Peter Peter, pumpkin eater.

[Robinson Guardian Of The Universe Find all posts View Profile Close Robinson]

I don't get it.

Peter Peter, pumkin eater.


Her diapragm turned into a pumkin.

[myuserid Lantern Hex Find all posts View Profile Close myuserid]

Peter Peter, pumkin eater.


Her diapragm turned into a pumkin.

Too slow.

[W.West Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close W.West]

Peter Peter, pumpkin eater.

Peter Peter, pumkin eater.


Her diapragm turned into a pumkin.

HA!

I suppose it would have been funnier if I got it without your help...I prefer the Mickey one.

[Robinson Guardian Of The Universe Find all posts View Profile Close Robinson]

Too slow.

I had to read the joke.

[Fearless Agent Orange Find all posts View Profile Close Fearless]

Ah, the cybernetic-printed-laughing-sounds of others... warms my heart.

[W.West Moderator Find all posts View Profile Close W.West]

BEST JOKE EVER

...I fail to see the awesomeness and/or epicness in the above picture.

[Fearless Agent Orange Find all posts View Profile Close Fearless]

My comments are NOT jokes, you JERK!